helpless (Lams)

Angry Yelling on the Porch (ft. First Kisses and Peggy the Cockblock)

...

JOHN LAURENS

THURSDAY, JULY 7

Alex walked up the long cobblestone driveway ahead of me, arms folded to his chest. He didn't look back at me, not even once. I didn't have a problem with it though–in fact, I was glad he didn't want to talk to me, for whatever reason it may be, because I did not want to talk to him either. Look, I know I'm not his real, actual boyfriend, but that doesn't stop me from feeling...jealous, for lack of a better word, that he kissed Thomas. And besides, poor James must've been humiliated–he obviously hasn't got much to live for, because he's with Thomas of all people. Although, I'm not too sure how long that'll last. Does that count as cheating? Yeah, probably.

"You know," Alex griped when I made it to the door. "You don't have to fight everyone you don't like."

I rolled my eyes. Putting my head against the porch railing and leaning up against it, I retorted, "I'm sorry I want you to be safe, Alex." It wouldn't be a good idea to disturb the peace inside with an argument that is pretty much inevitable.

"I can take care of myself. I'm a grown man, John," he raised his voice slightly. "And you're treating me like a child!"

"You're acting like a child!" I yelled.

"And you're being controlling," he retaliated. "Just leave me alone with your stupid hovering shit!" Alex's head tilted to the side ever so slightly as the words passed his lips.

"What am I supposed to do, just stand there and watch that miserable son of a bitch shove his tongue down your throat?" I approached him with heat rising up in my face.

"You didn't ask me!"

"I didn't think I'd need to ask!" I threw my hands up. Alex uncrossed his arms and jabbed a finger at me, opening his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "I go to this thing with you to make you feel more comfortable around your asshole ex and you're just tongue fucking each other's throats in the middle of the lobby. How does that make me feel? How's that make James or whatever the fuck his name was feel? Do you think about anyone but yourself?" I shouted. "Why is it always about you?"

It was a red flush that made Alex ball his fists and shake his head. "I don't mean to–"

"That just makes it worse!" I interrupted. "And it's a damn shame too, because I fucking love you, Alexander!" Alex shrunk back and took a deep breath. There's a white shine to his skin in the moonlight, his cheekbones high and fine. "I love you, okay?"

"Your fucking love is reciprocated, bitch ass," he hollered back.

There was a banging on the window. The two of us turn to see Peggy's round face pressed against the window; even though her frantic yelling is muffled, we can still hear it loud and clear: "John said the 'L' word!"

"Alex?" I mumbled. He took a step closer–so close that I could smell the vanilla of his shampoo, and the smooth cream that he uses on his skin; skin that my hands ached to touch.

His eyes gleamed indigo as he stood up on his toes to meet my eyes. Alex brought his soft hands to my face, resting them on my cheeks, and I felt them tremble softly. A hint of a smile played on his lips as if he was teasing me. "If you won't shut up and kiss me already, I will." He leaned in closer, and pressed his lips against mine. Warmth blossomed in my chest as he kissed me tentatively. His lips were chapped and dry, parting just enough for me to press my tongue between them. The palms of my hands brushed against his slim hips, moving slowly up to his waist.

"Holy shit!"

We broke away from our kiss and turned our heads to see Peggy, in her pyjamas, standing in the doorway. "Sorry to interrupt," she said in a tone that clearly implied she wasn't sorry at all.