The Boss' Aggression (BWWM)

CHAPTER XL: Angel's Lament

" I'm sorry." I said to him. Thinking about it, did he actually deserve an apology. What exactly was I apologizing for?

It's everyone else's fault I'm in this situation! Not mine.

If what Angel said is true, then isn't it ultimately my daddy's fault? Isn't it Angels? I can also blame Donnie. Was I wrong for trying to escape Angel? Was I wrong for being afraid when I had been abducted? Is it my fault I continually ended up in those near fatal incidences?

I could say to some degree, I was at fault. I didn't listen to Angel when he said stay put. I didn't keep my mouth shut when I was being held captive. But, can I really say all of this is my fault?

It's these men. These organized criminals.

" Why are you apologizing?" Donnie remarked. Almost as if he were shocked by my sudden apology. I, myself was shocked by my apology. No one deserved an apology more than me.

I remained silent and continued on in my own thoughts.

" Dante, you couldn't possibly be blaming yourself for any of this could you?" He asked me seriously, a solemn look coming to his face.

" Are you crazy?" I asked him. I will not take the blame for anything besides ignorance.

" Look at me." He said, walking over to me as I sat in the chair.

Once again, he kneeled down in front of me. He slowly pried my hands from my head, lifting my chin to look me in the eyes.

Why was this man so gentle? Did he too, want something from me? Did he perhaps like seeing me so stressed and tired?

" Why are you doing this? Why are you so nice to me?" I demanded. I felt like there was no one I could trust. He didn't know me before this whole fiasco. Why did I find so much comfort in him?

" This may be hard to believe but, even when you were lying in that bed close to death I had a desire to help you get better. I found beauty in your heart because you fought to stay alive. You had something I didn't, and that was perseverance. I believe I was drawn in by that." He said to me. Somewhere in the middle of him talking, he began caressing my hand. I let him.

" Cara, I am sorry. I'm sorry you had to endure all of this. I'm sorry you had to meet Angel. I'm sorry about your father. I'm sorry that you had to shoulder everything all alone, and had no one to truly wipe your tears for you. I'm so sorry, Cara." He said to me, before he pulled me into his embrace.

He wrapped his arms tight around my body. He held me snug against his chest, his head positioned in the crook of my neck. At first, I sat there frozen. I wasn't sure what to do, but the more I hesitated the tighter his held became.

All in all, I had succumbed to him. I completely melted in his hold, and I allowed my tears to fall freely and silently. This time, I didn't feel the need to hold back my emotions anymore. I let out the loudest wail I could, and I was able to completely lose myself in my grief.

With no restrictions, nor restraint.

And Donnie simply held me. He didn't comment or make a sound. He was just there to be my shoulder. The shoulder I had needed for the longest of time.