My 7 Hybrid Hearts [hiatus]

Holding Back

I sat in a sling chair reading as the boys were outside playing with each other. Well, Yoongi was taking a nap in the sun. I let myself bathe in the sunlight as the spring air welcomes me. I sigh in content as a light breeze rustles a few tree branches. I let my mind wander, but soon find myself thinking of the waiter. A frown settles on my lips as I shut my book and stand up from my chair. The boys stop playing, noticing a change in my behavior, but I just give them a quick smile before going back into the house. As soon as I thought things were going great, life just laughs and makes things worse again.

I've been on edge ever since we got back from our trip at the beach about a week ago. My mates noticed but I kept insisting that I was fine. I did have moments where I was calm and content, but then reality comes back and I'm back to being on edge. I've been having nightmares of when the hybrids' old owner kidnapped me and tortured me. I know the boys are worried about me, but I don't want to bother them with my problems.

I eventually call Leah and ask if she wants to come over and bring Christina and Seok. Hoping that it will distract my mates and so I could talk to Leah. As soon as I called, I got an answer and I asked if she wanted to come over. I went into the kitchen to start making dinner, but got lost in my thoughts when cutting up some vegetables. I yelp when a sharp pain goes through my finger, making me drop the knife and cradle my finger. Serves me right for not paying attention.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" Jin asks, coming into the kitchen but pauses when he sees my finger. He rushes over to me and takes my hand into his larger ones. "Please be more careful, dear."

"I'm sorry, I guess I got lost in my thoughts." I say quietly.

"You've been doing that a lot recently, do you want to talk about it?" he asks, wanting me to let him in.

I frown and look away from him, "not right now. We're having guest over. Want to help me with dinner?"

I smile trying to distract him, which doesn't go over well, but he let's it slide. He sighs before looking into my eyes with his sad brown ones.

"You know you can always come to us if you want to talk, that is what mates are for. We are there for each other." Jin says and I smile, my eyes watering as I give him a hug, forgetting about my wound entirely. "We are here for you Y/n, always will be."

I sniff and let go of the hug, then remember my finger. Gasping, I grab Jin's forearm and turn him around and see a small bloodstain on his shirt. I curse under my breath and it just got too much for me. I've been trying to keep everything to myself and even tried to keep from letting my mates see me overwhelmed that it finally started to slowly break me down.

Tears slowly slid down my face and Jin quickly brushed them away with his thumbs, "Baby, it's okay. It's only a shirt, we can wash it off."

I finally collect myself and stop the tears from flowing. I nod, about to go back to cooking, but Jin pushes me out of the kitchen, saying I needed to go fix my finger and that he would finish cooking. I just nod, but give him a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

After putting a band aid on my finger, I sat down in the living room, Yoongi's head on my lap as I ran my fingers through his hair. I could hear a purr coming from him and it made me smile, but my smile was short lived as the thought of him living with the man coming after us.

"You're doing it again." Yoongi says, looking up at me. His face void of emotions, except his eyes, which shone with concern.

"Doing what again?" I asked, honestly curious.

Yoongi sits up and turns towards me, "You start being happy, then all of the sudden you start smelling sour from being upset. You've been like this ever since we got back. Please tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, Yoongi. I'm just a little out of it okay, I just need to get back into the groove of things." I lied, slightly.

Yoongi frowned, "yeah, okay. Whatever."

I can hear the hurt in his voice as he walks away and I frown. I sigh as I go to my room and run my hand through my hair. I don't want to worry them, but the more I keep this to myself, the more it affects me, and the more they notice, making them worried about me. I shut my door and collapse on my bed, I look at the picture of me and my mates on the dresser next to my bed. I feel tears coming into my eyes but I push them back, not wanting to cry. I know it's not healthy to keep holding back this kind of stuff, but I just don't want to burden anyone with this.

Little did I know my mates were all talking about a way to put a stop me from holding back from them....

Not as good as I wanted....... I'm sorry T^T I just didn't know what to put....