CW: Drug consumption
***
Elle
The brightness of the rising sun, shining through the bedroom window, pulls me out of my deep slumber. The sky outside looks like it has been painted in a soft orange tone, tinting the whole room in dim light. I feel my boyfriend's hand softly streaking up and down my back, caressing me and making me feel comfortable and at ease. Things are good. Until they're not.
It's not Ben's arms that I am finding myself in, nor am I sleeping in my own bed. I am at Harry's place. In Harry's bed. And he's the one that's laying next to me. But instead of a dreading feeling, I feel at ease. Because it's not Ben that's laying next to me, it's Harry. He won't hurt me. I'm safe with him.
But it doesn't take long for all the pictures to come back, confronting me with the nightmare I had to live through last night. That's exactly what it was. A fucking nightmare. I just wish it was something I could wake up from. I wish it would only be a bad dream I could escape from.
Slowly I lift up my arm, the fresh stitches coming into view, making it very clear that this was unfortunately not just a dream. It was my reality. With a sigh I let my arm drop down on the bed, closing my eyes in hopes that I could go back to sleep again and forget about all of this for a little longer.
"You're awake," Harry suddenly whispers behind me, making me startle.
"I wish I wasn't."
"Don't say that love." His hand glides up to my back, leaving soft strokes that immediately calm me.
But it's not enough to shy away the dreading feeling of wishing to wake up from this. From wishing that this was all just one bad dream.
"You don't know what it's like, Harry," I whisper, as tears form in my eye.
I notice his hand tensing up as he hears my voice. "What do you mean?"
"You don't know what it's like wanting to go to sleep and not wake up. You don't know how it feels when life is worse than your nightmares. When everything crumbles around you. When the life that you so carefully curated suddenly breaks into a million pieces and you can't keep up with picking them all up." I inhale deeply trying to force away the tears that make their way to the surface before I whisper the last bit. "You don't know what it's like."
Suddenly I am pulled back, Harry's arms engulfing me in a hug, immediately calming my nerves. "I need you to know that I am here for you. And if you even think for a second that I will let you give up or abandon you, then you are wrong." He gives my hand a light squeeze, making sure I listen to what he has to say.
"When the world crumbles around you Elle, I will be there to help you pick up the pieces. And if you're world is falling to pieces?"
He takes a deep breath, swallowing hard before he continues. "Mine is too. Because my whole world is you."
My heart skips a beat when I hear him say these last few words.
My whole world is you.
He couldn't mean that. He didn't mean it. He was just trying to lighten up my mood. That's all it could be. Because If it did really mean, what I thought it would - No. It couldn't.
"Harry..." I whisper before I'm interrupted again.
"Don't. You don't have to say anything. I just needed you to hear this. That's all."
Silence falls above us as I enjoy the arms that surround me, bringing a bit of peace to my mind. But the reality is that there was no peace. Not after last night.
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You are Home // H.S
Fanfiction*MATURE CONTENT* "It's okay to fall apart sometimes. Cherry blossoms aren't meant to be blooming all the time." *** Harry Styles has already made a name for himself and is just about to release his debut album. But when Harry stumbles across the al...
