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16. Your Power

Song: Your Power - Billie Eilish

Be aware that I changed some of the lyrics to make them fit better to this story.

Little reminder:
Obviously you don't have to listen to the songs but I feel like it really helps with building the story, especially in this chapter.

I created a Spotify playlist for this purpose. You can check out the chapter 'playlist' or check out the link in my bio that leads you to it.

***

Elle

I used to have a lot of nightmares. Every time I closed my eyes, they would be back, haunting me with my biggest fears and making me lose sleep. There were times when I didn't go to sleep at all. I'd just stay awake because I was too scared. I used to. But I didn't think they'd come back. I thought therapy did its trick. I didn't just finish the chapter and start another one. No, I closed the freaking book and threw it into the fire to burn until there was nothing left, but ashes.

The man that caused them was out of my life for good. I thought my life was going well. I didn't think that I'd find myself in a similar situation again. But life doesn't always plan out the way we want it to.

I sit up straight in my brother's bed, noticing the empty spot beside me. He must have slept on the couch last night. I was going to leave, go home and talk to Ben, but when it came to my brother, I didn't really have a say in it. Not in a bad way. But I couldn't deny that he is overprotective. I can barely remember how last night played out. All I know was that as soon as I hit the bed I was out, exhausted from the overwhelming thoughts, that the flashback has caused. Exhausted from the choices I needed to make. I hoped that my friends weren't mad at me, for leaving my own party early. But if they knew what was going on, they would understand.

The room was still pitch black, not a single fleck of light shining through the curtains. It must still be early. I sigh and roll out of Bed, knowing that I couldn't go to sleep anymore. Not if I wanted to avoid the nightmares.

I walk to the other side of the room, picking up Finn's guitar before I make my way into the kitchen to make a coffee for myself. As suspected, I spot Finneas laying on the sofa, still sleeping peacefully. Without further thinking I grab my coffee cup, noticing the notebook Harry has given to me last night, still laying in the spot he put it. I take it with me and make my way outside, sitting down in the very same spot that Harry and I sat in last night.

I sigh, remembering how we left things off. I didn't want to be like this, but I needed to sort this through on my own first. And to me, there isn't a better way to do this, than with music. But the least I had to do, was send him a quick message. I pull out my phone and open our chat. He hasn't texted me yet and I didn't expect him to, considering how I just left him by himself and ran off, too scared to tell him the truth.

Quickly I type out a message, deleting and starting fresh a few times before I'm happy with what I got.

I'm sorry for the way things ended last night.
I just had to be by myself.
I hope you understand and are not mad at me. Maybe we can meet soon and I can explain a little more?

I send the message and put my phone to the side to pick up where I left off. After trying out a couple of different tunes, I finally find the right one. I open the notebook Harry has gifted me and pull up an empty page. Once I had the chords noted down, I hear a squeaking noise, my eyes immediately shooting up to the door, to see Finneas stick his head through it.