this love is good, this love is bad [wenclair]

so you tie up your hair and you smile like it's no big deal

4 years earlier

"Enid, could you bring this back to the kitchen?" my mom asked, while putting an empty plate in my hands.
We were in the garden, preparing the table for the barbecue. About half an hour earlier, dad had left to go to the butcher.
"Yeah, of course."
Then I hesitated to ask the same question again.
"When is Neil coming?" I tried anyway.
Since September, my oldest brother was in college and I -we- hadn't seen him since Christmas break.
"No idea, Enid," she sighed, and checked the time on her watch. "But he won't be long so if you could..." she gestured to the plate, " and maybe get ready, it would be great. People are coming, you know."
Of course she had to add that last part, knowing damn well that I had already gotten dressed. The only thing I had yet to do was my hair. So I went to the kitchen and then went upstairs, to the last floor, where my room was. We had recently repainted it white, but it used to have a purple wall. I hated it. It felt like a hospital room and I wasn't allowed to hang up posters since the paint was so new, but someday it'll be full of them. I grabbed my hairbrush and went to the first floor, to the bathroom, where a decent mirror and my hair products were. I pushed on the doorknob, but it was locked. I knocked.
"Occupied!"
"Jared's still in there?!" I heard my other brother Dante say behind me.
"Apparently," I sighed, annoyed.
"You can use the mirror in our room if you want to," he proposed, seeing I had my brush in my hands.
"Thanks, but I need some hair products that are in there."
"Nah, you're fine. You do need to brush your hair, though," he smiled.
He was right about that last part. How could short hair get so tangled up? Oddly enough, when I had long hair it was never like that. Then someday mom said I should cut it because I was approaching the age where I would wolf out. Still didn't happen, though.
The room of my two older brothers was a mess. Clothes everywhere on the ground and some unidentified stuff in and all around the garbage can. I tried making my way to their mirror without stepping on a radioactive dirty sock. Mission succeeded. I couldn't style my short hair in many different ways, so I ended up making two little braids with the hair above my ears and tying them together in the back. Simple but I was satisfied with it.
When I got back into the corridor, Dante was still waiting outside the bathroom.
"He's been here all morning, I think he's constipated or something,"Dante said, laughing.
"Ew, too much information, no thanks."
"ENID!"
It was my mother's voice.
"Not sure, but I think mom needs you," Dante chuckled.
"No kidding," I said as emotionlessly as possible.
She called me another time, so I sprinted downstairs with Dante's encouragements.
"Run, Forrest, run!"

~~~

As per usual I was picking at my food, stuck between two family members I didn't recognize but who swore that they had changed my diapers at some point. I don't even know why mom sat me there. She was, as per usual, at the end of the table, the center of attention and she was carrying all the conversations. Not letting dad speak his mind once.
"Ow come on now, eat a bit, darling!" my neighbor on the left said.
She was one of my many aunts on my mom's side and apparently my godmother. I didn't recall her name, though.
"Leave her be, she hasn't wolfed out yet. She still eats like a normal person; she's basically human," I heard the lady on her left whisper in her ear.
The intention was for me not to hear them, they were dumb enough to think that me not wolfing out meant I still had normal human senses. Of course I could hear them. So did everyone, but no one reacted because mom had probably already told them about her daughter who 'was supposed to last year but didn't yet'. Most female werewolves wolf out around the time they start to menstruate. I didn't though, it had been over a year and still nothing. Not even fangs, not even claws, nothing. And everyone knew, and they were all waiting for me to leave to talk about it behind my back. Thank you, mom.

But the reason I wasn't hungry was different. Neil had called and canceled. Honestly, it was understandable. If I had the possibility to skip out on family events like he did, I wouldn't even hesitate. I felt hurt, though. Knowing Neil, he had probably never planned on coming, but he could've warned me, not leaving me in the fog.
A pat on my shoulder pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Hey, Tony!" I exclaimed as I took him in my arms and sat him on my lap. "You want a bite?" I pointed to my plate.
He nodded 'no' exaggeratedly. "We already ate."
The twins had just turned five this June. They were the youngest. Anthony was the very last born, since his brother came out of the womb first. Speaking of which...
"Where's Lucas?"
"In our room, I guess."
The little dude already suffered from severe social anxiety, so I wasn't surprised by that and just hummed in response.
"Anthony! Look at how cute he is!"
My aunt finally noticed his presence and pinched his cheek. My mother turned her head toward us from the other side of the table.
"It's his nap time, he's supposed to be asleep," she said. She then continued in her 'sweet' tone, in which only my brothers and I could detect the venom. "Enid, please, bring him back to his room."

"Why me?"

"Because she asked you to, dum—" Jared said rudely.
Dante, who sat next to him, elbowed Jared hard  in the stomach.
Damn, I had said it out loud.
"OUCH, BRO, THAT HURTS!"
Dante pulled Jared closer to him by the collar to whisper something in his ear.
"Easy dude, I'll do it," he replied, sitting up and aggressively adjusting his collar back.
"No." Mom held him back. "I asked her."

~~~

"But I'm not tired!" Tony whined.
"Shhh, you're gonna wake Lucas up."
He frowned in frustration, as I continued to tuck him in.
"Just read a book, or I don't know... I don't want mom to get mad at me just because you're being stubborn."
There was a light knock on the door and the person didn't wait for a response from us to stick his head inside.
"You coming, Enid?"
"Dante!"
"Tony, dim it," I said pointing to Lucas, who was barely eight feet away.
Dante gestured to outside the room, indicating that I should end this and come with him.
"You know what? Keep yourself busy in silence and pretend to sleep if you hear anyone in the hallway, Tony."
And with that, I got out.
"Yes, what?"
"You okay?"
"Yeah, why?" I chuckled uncomfortably.
"You know... Jared and mom. He doesn't help and I feel like she does this a lot, lately."
"Does what?"
He gave me a killer look.
"Don't play dumb, it doesn't work with me", he said calmly. "You can't let them be like that to you. You have to bite back, be assertive."
"Yeah, I know."
"No, really," he insisted. "I won't be here forever. I'm leaving for college too."
"I know," I said with a sour undertone, being brought back to reality.
Everyone eventually left. First Neil, now Dante. And Jared was only two years away from that. Everything felt temporary. For six years I had been the center of attention, the only girl, the youngest. Then came the announcement of the arrival of the twins and everything changed. Mostly the dynamic with them being the youngest and me kind of being the middle child. Then Neil left the house and everything changed again. Now it was Dante's turn.
"You listening, Enid?" he smiled.
I shook my thoughts off.
"Huh, what?"
"I said Mom asked me  to go buy desert in town, wanna come with me?"
"If she's okay with that, sure!"
"Do I really look like I care?"
I smiled at that.
"There it is!" he cheered, pointing to my face. "Now let's go."

• FIRST POSTED: 01/28/2023
• EDITED (1st time): 10/08/2023