We Are the Wolves

[16] Nothing's Changed

"How is this any different than you wanting me to have the Everton Blade?" I inquired. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. Even though I had one foot in the lycanthropy world and one in the human world right now, I still couldn't imagine myself using the dagger against him...nor could I wrap this burning piece of new silver around his throat to do any damage.

"This is different because that dagger isn't solely infused with magic that hunters use to fuel their hatred for us," he answered, making me think I was watching the scene in Deathly Hallows when Slytherin's locket was making Ron mad with envy and resentment simply by wearing it. This couldn't be that though... "Take it off, Ashlynn!" Ryder raised his voice and it actually made me flinch. "I've felt your resentment for me grow and grow since last night and I'm betting it got worse when you opened that gift and put it on. I'm not saying you're not entitled to those feelings but it hurts okay? You resent me because I've done a shit job as your mate loads of times in the last year with our bond shading over it and it's all flooding back to you now even if we've moved past it. Even now, you know me and Andrew were right about setting Milkner up but I can bet you're more focused on being mad at us." For some reason I was frozen in place while watching him desperately pleading to me and disguising it with fury. I had never seen him on the brink of begging like he was right now. There had to be some merit in that no matter how much I really was focusing on the infuriating parts in the last few days. "At the very least, take it off because I hate the idea of another man giving you jewelry."

"You also used to hate the idea of anyone touching me–let alone kissing me," I recalled while slowly moving to remove the necklace from around me. "And yet, here you are inviting the one man who's done all three things."

I felt the immediate and raw anger fade from me almost immediately. But I was thankful for the gift because a night of pure thoughts and lack of rose-colored glasses made me actually contemplate Ryder and our relationship and my standing in this werewolf-ridden town. More than anything, it made me think back to what Carina Cane had told me about being powerful and being a Luna. I wasn't meant to play a passive role to my brother nor my mate like they constantly treated me when big plans were involved.

"I know and I'm sorry," Ryder muttered. "I've been on my best behavior the last six months letting us be us and Andrew grow into this leader and solidifying order in Tyriette, but I have always kept my word when it comes to protecting our families. I don't care if it pisses you or anyone else off in the process." He began. "Andrew f*cked up with Meena and Dezi. I fixed it before it spiraled and anyone got hurt."

I let out a scoff and he knew exactly what it's about.

"Ashlynn, you're a lot smarter than to mention Milkner right now."

"Apparently I'm a lot of things," I agreed. "I'm respectably deserving of a proper goodbye. I'm too powerful to ever be safe. I'm so pure that my soul can be swayed by a necklace–"

"All of those things can be true at once," he interrupted. "Regardless if I like it or not."

"And what of that don't you like?" I asked. "The respect? The power? The–"

"The fact that you're tangled up in something again!" he answered. "I can't be jealous of Milkner because you made it clear he's not important to you like that anymore, plusI'm pretty secure in us and trusting you–regardless of how mad at me you are. I thought about the fact that you two are connected and he can protect you, but not nearly as well as I can so I don't actually care enough to be threatened. I know you're powerful for more reasons than one which is why I'm being this extra in this whole ordeal. And some Hunters' Herb swaying you is annoying but it is what it is; trust me when I say it's just an occupational hazard you're just gonna have to get used to sometimes because, unfortunately, your soul is as pure as mine, darlin'." I could physically feel the Hunters' Herb being metabolized through my body and leaving sympathy and comprehension in its byproduct despite how much I wanted to just argue. It had to be that, right? Not Ryder's surprisingly transparent explanation. Finally, he reached out to grab my hand and instead of letting me break the contact like earlier, he squeezed tighter. "Nothing that I did or that Andrew did matters. Milkner was on board with it all as soon as he saw the benefits of it. We can literally just move on like it never happened because nothing's changed other than Andrew and Meena's relationship status."