We Are the Wolves

[36] Passing of the Baton

I spent the rest of the day with Ryder, Colin and Merida. There was no more discussion of "my motivation" because surprisingly the Diazes stayed as well and they obviously were not in on the werewolf secret. Originally, they made me wonder if we were all only allotted one family member to automatically accept our mates–for me, that was Merida; for Ryder that was Ollie–but then they started loosening up. And I was glad for that because Ryder deserved attention from them and one less conflict. I was also happy for my own selfish reasons of needing to head back home with the help of Andrew's car. It was a good thing my heart was full and happy from being with Ryder all day because the energy on the car ride home was nonexistent and silent between me and my brother. In fact, he had me drive home so he could sleep and didn't say a single word.

***

When Meena Leonard moved to Tyriette, I had made snap judgements that weren't fair to her. However, some of them were true. Like how extra and showy she was. It was Wednesday now–the day of our state finals for track–and she was sporting her big hair with shimmery makeup and rhinestones that covered up any injuries I made on her face that weren't already concealed by her dark skin. I obviously hadn't been required to be at school and isolated at home on Tuesday to finally catch up on sleep so I hadn't seen her. I was glad we had other team members in other events that qualified for this meet to travel with us and took some of our tension off. To everyone else, the awkwardness that seeped into the bus or laconic responses was because Shana Smith wasn't here.

But we did need to talk. I kept trying to resist glancing over at her but part of me wanted her to catch my gaze so she would confront me about it later. With Maya sitting next to me, I doubted that. We didn't interact at all during the journey, during warmups, or during practice–even when our coach switched her and Maya's position, meaning now Meena was passing the baton to me. That required communication, but even when we practiced (she needed it more than the rest of us for obvious reasons), we said nothing aside from our handoff word. All it did was reaffirm what I was feeling on Monday with elevations of more guilt. So when I saw her heading to the locker room/bathroom under the bleachers, I followed. I lingered outside for her and I think she knew it, judging by the sigh she made when she exited. I just followed behind her and eventually she turned to start climbing the stairs of the bleachers. This side of the stadium was for students and was largely empty because most of us set up camp beneath the concrete bleachers in order to shield ourselves from a day of Texas sunlight, whereas the other side of the bleachers were riddled with coaches and spectators. We climbed to the second deck which was visible but by no means anywhere close enough for someone to overhear us. She took a seat and I sat almost two yards away for her own peace of mind.

"Okay, let's talk."

***

After another moment of silence, I had asked how much trouble she got into from fighting with me. To my surprise, she said her parents saw her loss as the punishment and carried on with their tending to their wounded or killed family members. In fact, apparently Lee got in more trouble for letting it happen. Considering I've seen Trey hit him, I didn't want to ask what his newest consequence was. As bad as I felt, I couldn't apologize to her. I wasn't going to be a hypocrite. I had to stand in my decision to fight her. An apology would introduce a degree of fallacy, confusion and undermining. "Don't worry. I don't expect an apology," Meena surprisingly said after the awkward pause in her revelations. "It'll make you look weak to take it all back. So don't."

She told me once before that she wasn't interested in the politics of lycanthropy, but the disinterest really did her a disservice. She would be good at it. Or maybe it was her family who she had learned from, much to Lee's dismay. Just like I had been trying to learn from Andrew and Ryder's leadership over the year. Perhaps she was right all those months ago.