We Are the Wolves

[30] Our People, Our Destruction

Milkner and I had spent Friday together having throwback Ashlynn + Malcolm fun. It began with watching a movie and led into us finally being able to actually catch up with laughter and snacks like the various sleepovers we had growing up. I got my friend back. Not a guy best friends with my brother as a distraction. Not a guy pursuing me romantically. Not as a hunter. Not as a pessimistic participant planning for his demise.

It was all so great until he announced he would need all of Saturday to himself for Kóryos battle rituals. This was apparently fantastic news for Andrew because, unbeknownst to me, he and Ryder had planned some dramatic night-before, binge at the Everton house and I was invited. Unfortunately, as stupid as it sounded, I think I needed it as much as they did. Even if Ryder wasn't here yet.

"If Milkner really believed he was gonna die tomorrow, he wouldn't subject the last few hours of his life to doing schoolwork," Andrew told me before taking a drink of his beer. The only reason it came up was because Bailee asked where Ryder was and I said I didn't know, followed by the revelation that my day yesterday was spent with Milkner and what he made me promise him. "Life's too short to waste it on that bullshit."

"Instead we spend it fighting..." I grumbled and got up from the floor I sat on in order to get another drink from the kitchen. I wondered who would be brave enough to follow, despite everyone being considerably high or inebriated by now. Moments later, by the time I had opened a drink, I found Colin lingering in the doorway taking a drag of his blunt.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked me. My first gut reaction was to tell him no and I wondered if it had anything to do with the promise I made to Milkner...after all, my uneasiness right now felt like I was planning to grieve him for some reason. I stayed silent. "Okay then..." he nodded and understood judging by the nods he gave me. Knowing Colin, he would change the subject. "So I think I love Callie."

I tried to contain my grin but failed. "I think we all know that." We could tell since they met and canoodled in private rooms and when he would fly to visit her. We'd all only known about Callie Darrensbourg's existence for like five weeks and they seemed like they knew each other for a lifetime.

"Sure," he laughed and looked down on himself briefly. Then his shifting eyes reconnected with mine. "I don't know if we're in love or just friends or more or whatever Andrew and Dezi are, but I do know that she's my person," he revealed. "I don't want to isolate myself. I don't want to hurt myself. I don't want to self-sabotage. I've been lonely for so long and I've blamed myself for years and that...that broken part of me isn't even there anymore."

The wide smile amassed on my face could not convey how happy I was for him. I had always thought Colin deserved the love he put into the world and I was stoked that he finally got it. It only made me worry more at the moment. Milkner was planning his demise. Andrew had spent the remainder of yesterday and this morning with Dezi. Evan and Bailee were as strong as ever just like Miles and Rose and Brett and Maya were respectively. Yet we were going to war tomorrow and me and Ryder were uneasy; a large part was due to my disagreement with the battle in the first place but a larger part was both of us avoiding some sort of inevitable preparation for the worst case scenario.

"What's Callie think about tomorrow?"

He let go of a breath but it wasn't like a sore spot; in fact, it seemed like he knew I'd ask it. "Callie and I grew up totally different but we're very much the same. Given her family's legacy, they're not exactly fans of any kind of altercations but she knows me and sticks up for me well enough that they understand I'm a Beta of one of the strongest parks in America and I'm going to be loyal and fight for my family that's here."

My anxiety spiked for more reasons than one after he said that. One for his implication and two for a new arrival through the front door.

"Does that mean–?"