Chapter 49

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Chapter 49
"Shitty"


Unlike Tita Caroline, her mom doesn't mask her expression nor her attitude. At kahit alam kong hindi niya ako gusto, kahit noon pa man, kalmado naman ako. Because maybe I was anticipating that this would happen.

"Silent and simple, but feisty... just like Clarke," aniya.

Umupo na rin ako. "What do you want to talk about, Madam? Can I get you anything?"

"Hindi na."

I nodded. I crossed my legs and relaxed in my seat. Naghintay ako sa kung ano man ang sadya niya rito.

"Why are you here? Hindi ba't may sarili naman kayong kompanya?"

There are two answers to that. Una, ang totoo na hindi ko naman gustong sabihin sa kanya. Not because I am protecting my pride, but I reserved it for only one person. Ang pangalawa ay may bahid din naman ng katotohanan.

"I want to try starting on my own, Madam. Not just relying on the comfort of our own can give me."

Tumaas ang kilay niya. "Sa dami ng mga kompanya ay dito pa talaga."

I smiled, pinalagpas ang panunuya niya. Alam kong bitag ito, mahuhuli rin ako, but I can certainly escape kaya wala namang dapat ikapangamba. Masaya rin ang ganito. People like her are actually easy. Wala kasi silang tinatago.

"Tinanggihan mo na noon ang apo ko, bakit ngayon ay lumalapit-lapit ka pa?"

Alam niya ba ang nangyari sa Oxford? Or does shw know a bit of our past? I am not sure. Pero alam kong Aris isn't the kind who would kiss and tell. At hindi naman siya ganoon kalapit kay Madam Carolina kahit lola niya pa para magsumbong.

"Hindi ka ba nahihiya? Inagawan mo na nga siya ng pamilya at ilang beses na sinaktan, dinidikit mo pa rin ang sarili mo? Aren't you too selfish in your own right?"

Maybe if I am poor she would also offer me money. Gaya ng ginawa niya noon kay Mama noon. Well, without my parents support, I am poor. I would love to accept a bribe from her. Gaano ba kalaki ang kaya niyang ibigay?

"Madam, let's be clear. It was Tita Caroline who gave Aris the make believe family," I said as less sarcastic as I could. But maybe even with the gentleness I exerted hindi pa rin 'yon sapat para huwag niyang masamain.

"How dare you! You little..." Bumalatay ang inis sa mukha niya. She immediately composed herself nang matanto ang pagkakawala ng postura niya.

"It's not my fault kung ginusto ng mga magulang kong bigyan ako ng buong pamilya. Kaya wala po akong inagaw kay Aris... But I am willing to give him the family he deserves."

Namilog ang kanyang mga mata. It's actually entertaining watching her get pissed and lose control. She is struggling. Maybe she expected me to let her words get to me o get intimidated by her. Ang kaso, hindi.

"And yes, I am indeed selfish. Gusto ko po iyong makakabuti sa'kin. Lahat na pwede sa'kin. Dapat lang naman sigurong gano'n." Nagkibit ako ng balikat. I let her mind run wild.

"Hindi kayo nababagay ng apo ko! I don't know what Aris sees in you. He could be with the finest girl in this country kung gugustuhin niya lang. He can even get a royalty!"

Tumango ako at hindi na komuntra. In fact, I totally agree with her. Aris deserves someone as good and as genuine as him. But if she expects me to get hurt by her words, she can't. I have hurt myself so badly in the past, with words, with actions, and anything that made me grow up insecure. I was so hard on myself. Kaya hindi ako kayang saktan ng iba.

I spent my life hating someone because of my insecurities and it consumed me. That someone was so selfless that he indulged me with my hate towards him, na hindi man lang binalak na gumanti o manakit. And that's more painful than revenge.

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