Suggested by zippssss
Ships: None
Song: Hideous
Singer: Mehro
Au: [TBOAH]
*****
Can't you look at me? Am I that hideous to you?
"Father!" Cale has been trying to get his attention, ever since the death of her the two are never the same. 'Look at me!'
His father doesn't want to look at him, ever again. Cale tried to be understanding, his father is grieving after all. His face is the same as her, so it is natural.
Can't you talk to me? Do I really mean nothing to you?
"Father." no answer. He'd been sitting in front of his father's office door for 15 minutes, but he never answered.
"I understand, I will go back to my room." again, being an early matured son he is, the 7 years old Cale went back to his room.
Turn away.
Forget everything.
As soon as he reaches his room, the boy can't hold his tears any longer. It just poured out as soon as he remembered the way his father turned away from him.
Turn away.
Forget everything.
He wants to forget about the unhappy incidents, so Cale will respect that. Confine himself inside his room and decrease the amount he's going outside. He will do just that as he helps with his father's work.
Does it seem too hard? Does it seem unright to keep in touch?
Was he in the wrong for trying to get closer to his father? Father is grieving, so he shouldn't get near him with his exact same appearance as her. He'll be so sad.
When was the last time we spoke at all?
"Now tell me, father(baby)..." Cale sits on his chair as blood flows out of his nose right onto the paper. Luckily it's not an unimportant paper to be stained with his filthy blood.
'I need to continue to help my father.'
Wasn't that long ago, when I hold you in my hands?
Cale remembers the happy days they had when she was still alive. He remembers how his father would always hold him in his hands, carry him to wherever he wanted to be.
"What changed it?"
I could see by your eyes, you cared.
So I thought, so I thought.
Everytime the two met each other, only Cale started the short conversations, and his father would always answer in the shortest answer he could give.
Cale saw how in his eyes, he still cares for him. So Cale thought, and thought about it. It gave the little boy more hope.
Can't you look at me? Am I that hideous to you?
But that same hope crushes down as he meets his father's new family a year later. The one who gets all that he hopes to get from him.
The moment he introduced the new Countess, Cale knew. He knew how he never had a place in this family ever since that incident. So he willingly left.
Can't you talk to me or do I really mean nothing to you?
Cale and her have been replaced by another one. They are happy and have the same hair color as him. The two father and son stop talking, even if they met accidently.
Only this time, his father is the one who wants to start a conversation with him. Right after he gave up all of it.
Was it all a lie?
The poor boy began to question everything, starting with his father's love for him ever since he was born to this world.
Those feelings you sajd you had for me, was it all a lie?
The feelings he had for his wife, was that also a lie? Was Basen really had no blood connection with him? Was he really loved by him?
Or do you have no feelings really?
He gave up. His title, his reputation. His family. Cale gave it all up for that boy, his new brother of his is being bullied. He gave it all up.
Can't you look at me or am I that hideous to you?
He really is now. Acting like a brat ever since he swore to protect his new family. Cale takes up the burden all by himself.
Can't you talk to me or do I really mean nothing to you?
He began to drink at the age of 15. He takes the name of a trash of the Count's family for them. But what did he get? Hate.
All he gets is hate for every single one who has heard of him, even if they never actually seen nor met him in person.
Turn away, forget everything.
He had forgotten how to love. He had forgotten how it feels to be loved.
It's okay, I regret nothing.
Telling himself that everything is okay, and he regrets not a single thing as this is the consequences of his own action.
'It is my fault for being born. Sorry, father.'
Nothing...
*****
Since a songfic is easy to do as the song gave me ideas to write, I will try to post it daily.
Sorry fir the delay, Zippssss. I'm really busy.
YOU ARE READING
As Your Heart Desire
Fanfiction"Your voice..is so far away." . . . ⚠Warning!! Will contains mature stuff including graphic violence, sexuality, strong language, and/or other mature themes. Read at your own risk.
