Loving Ashlynn (#Wattys2016)

Chapter 12 - Damn Dmitri (Kalenah Conrad POV) Pt. 2

Composed until the end, it was only when Faith realized who I was – of course because I informed her of myself believing that deceiving the girl would not lead to a good rapport between us – did she flounder.

However with her drive I realize that, Faith was alone, and in her loneliness work, of any kind, whether mental or physical was her coping mechanisms. She finished the meal in a tense, methodical haze, pulling away from us, while still maintaining her wits to complete the meal she began. It was heartbreaking to watch, but informative. In her position, fear of being alone may have crippled others but I understood how Fatima survived alone. Instead of faltering, remaining incapable of functioning, Fatima became hyper aware of her needs, satisfying them to the best of her ability while locked away.

There was no reason to starve because though Dmitri was gone, he left her with provisions that he had taught her to prepare. There was no reason to remain awake because for years before Dmitri had left Fatima on her own, he showed her that no one would harm her where she was. He instilled that faith of true safety in her, which he used against her by keeping up the charade of wartime. She studied because what else was there to do? Watched movies, listened to music, ate, slept and even worked out, kept up a schedule in a home she thought was meant to keep her safe but was actually her prison.

Lost in my thoughts, unsure now but determined to help Fatima, I think of what I've learned in her fevered induced speaking. I had truly thought that Faith was eating my meals, it came as a blow when in her – frenzied hallucinating state – that she confessed to Dmitri – her captor – that she hadn't been eating, the words said as though we would intentionally make the poor girl sicker.

A few pieces fell into place once again as that slip came forth, Faith wasn't isolating herself here because she preferred to be alone, it was because she didn't trust us. Sure, she came here but in truth, with knowing so little in the world, where would she have gone? Walsh said that he found that the home Faith was in, was used, you could tell she was a neat individual, however looking at her room now, even as she slept, her body held tight, everything in its place since we moved her things in. Nothing out of place, the lamp where it always was not moved a bit. The books we placed on her desk in the same order we had put them before, though I know she's studied.

We had to drop her and Talia both form their physical education class, entering them into an elective course – Fashion Fundamentals. I couldn't exactly say that Faith would enjoy the class, I couldn't say much at all because she seemed to just complete tasks placed in front of her. She gave me all her make up work completed when I knew that over the weekend Talia hadn't left her bed unless one of us carried her down, much less pick up her text books and assignments and complete one. I knew that all children were different even those I had myself, had their own personalities but I also knew that it was different.

While Talia could be around the lit stove, she couldn't seem to look down at her injured leg when I changed the wraps and bandages. Again even that experience for the two girls were different, Talia was asleep through it all, Faith was the one that ran into the burning building, experienced the fire burning her hand, and finding a way to get it out.

But I digress; my mind is in total chaos at what was uttered in her haze, so when Faith wakes up, I keep my voice controlled, soft and nonjudgmental as possible while inside my heart – the heart of a mother – is breaking for this poor child. The doctor in me also knows that I have to let Sonya know just how distrustful Faith really is... she had told some of the lies she was told, but as far as I knew and hoped, I had started to believe that she knew we meant her no harm.