I kissed Finney Blake. And it felt good.
My lips plastered onto his, feeing his small lips against my own. They felt so warm and soft, I didn't want to let go.
Until I realized what the fuck I was doing.
Holy shit. I kissed a boy. I'm a fucking faggot. No. No no no no no, I can't be like that! People are going to think I'm weird and-
But I thought of something else.
What was finney thinking? I wasn't even sure he actually was gay, and even if he was, I bullied him for it every day! God what the fuck is wrong with me?
My thoughts disappeared as finney pushed me aback. "What the fuck-"
He looked at me with wide eyes, pure confusion steering in them. "Why'd you do that, Robin?" He scolded, looking me dead in the eyes.
I don't know why I thought he'd be accepting. Fuck this.
I felt like I was about to cry, just break down and shatter until my eyes fell out of their sockets. A tear slipped out, causing me to groan and walk away.
Considering finney noticed, he started walking after me. "Robin- hey, robin!" He spoke, trying to get my attention.
Why had I done that? Goddamnit, I fucking hate myself.
I flew down the stairs quickly, finney right behind me. I walked out of the house, feeling the cold air of the night on my tinted cheeks.
I had Angela, why did I feel like I needed finney right now? I was high as shit. Maybe that's why.
I walked on the hard sidewalk, going to who knows where. But finney was right behind me the whole time, asking me questions.
I neglected every single one, wanting to shut him out because I couldn't help but feel like crying. And so I did. A tear rolled down my cheek, and so did another.
I turned back towards finney, who had now stopped and was just watching me sniffle.
"You wanna know why I fucking did it finney? BECAUSE I WANT YOU OKAY? I WANT TO BE YOUR FUCKING FRIEND, SHIT MAYBE EVEN BEST FRIEND. I DONT FUCKING KNOW WHY I KISSED YOU, BUT I JUST DONT WANT TO FEEL DISTANT, I-I- I like you."
Finney looked dumbfounded. His eyes were wide with surprise, and his golden brown hair was falling down on his lashes. His cheeks were pink from the cold, and he looked ..calm.
He took a step forward, and another, until he was holding onto me by my arms.
"Robin, that's a bunch to take in. Maybe we can think about this for awhile, just give me a few weeks." He spoke, his breath showing as fog.
"..ok. I just want to be close to you." I admitted, looking down in shame. "I-I don't know why I feel like this, and, and I don't like it, what will everyone think of me?!" I paused, gasping for air.
But to my surprise, finney hugged me. A long, genuine hug. His cold breath looped around my neck, sending jolts down my spine.
And I cried.
I probably looked so weak, but I cried. And he didn't let go, he just held me as I fell apart in his arms. "Finney, I'm so sorry." I wept, gulping harshly as tears ran down my neck.
He looked heartbroken, but calmed me. "Shh, robin, it's okay, I forgive you." He calmed, patting the back of my neck as we stood in the cold road. He kissed me on my forehead as I was leaned down, whispering little nothings in my ear as I wept my heart and souls into finney.
I finally calmed down after 20 minutes or so, and dried my eyes.
"Thank you, finney." I pleaded, gleaning hopefully. "No problem, now let's go home." He spoke, ruffling my hair and smiling a bit.
"Okay, but I have one question."
"What is it?" He muffled, keeping his eyes in front of him.
I looked over swiftly, looking into his brown, coffee-like eyes. He was truly beautiful, especially in the starlight.
"Friends?" I asked, stopping with a dopey smile on my face. He glanced over, stopping beside me and pulling me into a loose hug.
"Friends."
I smiled greatly, starting to walk hand in hand with him, until we heard a voice.
"Hello, little boys!"
