On a Loop

18| "WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO INSECURE?" - JAZMINE SULLIVAN

The days after Lauren's fight with Toni sorta blurred together. It had been around a week or so and they hadn't spoken since. This was their first real blow out in over five years of friendship and yet, they both seemed to be processing it just fine.

Without Toni breathing birthday shenanigans down Lauren's neck, she was able to finally make the time for so many things:

- As soon as she returned, Lauren spent the following Monday with Amani; hanging out and catching her up to speed on the final battle with Toni.

- Lauren finished sending legitimately professional emails to her prospective dream employers; jobs including anything that would get her foot in the door.

- Lauren was even more productive at work during this week. So much so, Joanna even complimented the recent positive change in attitude.

- Last but not least, Lauren had spent a few mornings, afternoons and nights at Gabe's for some lowkey, 'bonding' time.

Toni came and went about her business, oftentimes with Zeke on her right arm and her heavy rock of a 5 carat engagement ring on her left hand. Through Amani, Lauren found out Toni had already hired a wedding planner and that the big day is set for this coming Fall, destination style.

"Did she say anything else?" Lauren asked Amani, munching on some cereal, pretending to be uninterested while they sat in the kitchen.

    "If you mean, did she talk about you? Yes. Do I think I should tell you what she said about you? No." Amani said curtly as she stirred sugar into her coffee.

    "Why do I get the feeling you are on her side?" Lauren asked Amani blankly.

    "I swear to you I am not. I'm not picking any sides." Amani shrugged. "This whole thing is just mad annoying. Imagine you flew out to see your two best friends and they started acting like a pair of idiots." She made sure to say idiots in Jamaican patois for effect - heediots.

    "I'm sorry Nami. We'll make the most of the next two weeks, I promise." Lauren said, giving her a meaningful look.

Lauren really did feel bad that Amani was stuck in the middle of this mess on her trip, but call it stubborn, or call it childish, Lauren wasn't going to apologize to Toni. For what exactly? Lauren asked herself. What really was her complaint here anyway? That Lauren hadn't given Toni attention when she wanted it? That Toni was going through something grandiose and wanted all eyes on her. Girl, bye.

Over the last few days, it became clear to Lauren that Toni was really only upset that she wasn't the center of attention in their group for once and Lauren felt personally responsible for letting it get this far. She felt responsible for feeding the animal in Toni all these years.

Just then, Lauren heard Toni's footsteps travel from her bedroom to the bathroom, followed by a forceful close of the door. It wasn't quite a slam, but it was swift and loud enough to exhibit annoyance. There was a shift in the room and that was Lauren's cue to go. She needed to evade Toni's negative energy as soon as possible.

Lauren checked the time and it wasn't even 1 PM. Gabe was expecting her later in the afternoon for an at home dinner date, but Lauren suddenly thought it wise to leave now and be early than to walk on eggshells around Toni. She shovelled the remaining cereal in her bowl to her mouth in a couple of spoonfuls and washed up.

"I'll see you later Nami!" Lauren called as she spun around and headed out toward the subway station.

She arrived at Gabe's condo roughly 45 minutes later, and began reading the telephone list for 'Prescott, G.' after stepping through automated glass doors.