On a Loop

14| "GHOSTS OF THE PAST CAME TO HAUNT ME" - 070 SHAKE

Lauren closed the heavy door and leaned against it. Their connection somehow felt like it had been fused together over several months of dating, and not days. Time no longer served a purpose to her. He had just met her friends and they were suddenly moving through the course of relationship milestones seamlessly.

Lauren floated back to the living room, music ringing in her ears, still buzzing from his touch, as she sat down on the couch.

"Aww, Lauren! He's a hottie. Y'all are cute. I support it." Amani said, thrilled.

"You saw him now, do you really have to see him later?" Toni whined from her seat in the kitchen.

Just like that, the music she was hearing stopped.

"I want to see him again, Love."

"But why are you trippin' like this over a man? You just met him. You don't even know him."

This had been the most she had talked in the last half an hour and Lauren couldn't believe these were the words she was choosing to say.

"That's the point. I want to get to know him." Lauren protested.

"He isn't going anywhere. Plus you have vacation time booked in a few weeks - see him then in between our things. What's the rush?"

Regardless of her attitude, Toni had reminded Lauren that she'd taken her 'birthday week' off of work earlier in the Winter.

Toni had also reminded Lauren of how painful that time had been. Lauren had tried her best to forget it, but harsh memories stabbed through the forefront of her mind like the icicles of December. A familiar tightness contracted in her chest as it had when she woke up every grey, dull morning, looking for a sun that rarely shone.

December 31st was no different, though it should have been. Lauren was missing the glimmering feeling of anticipation usually brought by the coming of the new year. Mainly because she was too exhausted to anticipate anything.

At 1 AM her phone was vibrating with an incoming call from Ryan.

"Hello?" Lauren's voice rattled with sleep.

"You up? Come over."

Typical.

This call screamed, 'Let me fuck that chick I met on Tinder before my New Year's Eve fills up' and Lauren heard it loud and clear.

They had been talking (ie. fucking) for a few months, after two or three sucessful dates since meeting on the app and Lauren had hoped that the holiday season would bring a relationship, a commitment, or even just some reassurance, but it hadn't. So Lauren resorted to icing him out; they hadn't spoken in days - but clearly he was still on his bullshit.

She laid in bed, listening to the silence on the other end of the line. Her eyes were still heavy with sleep and she couldn't answer him. She knew the minute she opened her lips, it would be to tell him she was on her way. Lauren began to drift back into sleep when she heard,

"Hello? What are you sayin' L?"

"Yeah, I'm here Ry."

"So come through."

"You know that's not what this is anymore." She said firmly.

"Why are you playin' L? I know you miss me. Come through so I can show you what's good." His voice was low and thick.

"Fine." Lauren hung up and ordered a cab, shedding her sleepiness. A car confirmed as five minutes away and she knew that if she missed this one, the chances of another one coming to this end of the city at this time would be slim.