The life of an Indefinite Playerr

Chapter 25

Amanda POV

"The first time I saw him, I cringed honestly. But as I got to know him, I got attached. His eyes were so wide behind his glasses and his hair was so kinky and black. He stuttered and was smiling in between, Amanda, the boy captured me. Well, it is a pity now he is all rude, and no sweeter."

"Honestly, I don't see what you're on about. He is just a nerd."

As we laid on my single bed, staring at the ceiling, Macarena couldn't stop blabbering about Starr. She laid across my bed in her pink pajamas as she had returned home for the Easter holidays. Her blush was more visible when she talked about him but something was quite off.

"Do you love him?" I asked her.

She remained silent. "Ofcourse not, that is just an exaggeration," she said and somehow, I felt a little bit pissed. "Sure, I do enjoy his company and like him but not love? Isn't that a little too deep?"

"You're kidding right?" I asked raising my head up high.

"I'm not."

"What the..." I paused. "Macarena the boy is head over heels and you're just with him for his company? That's selfish. Why don't you just leave him alone? Don't you think he is going through a lot already?" My ears were burning hot, and I felt like slapping her.

"Are you pissed right now? Are you pissed because of my boyfriend? Do you want him for yourself?" She stood up.

"Of course not. I am not that pathetic as you are."

"Am pathetic?"

"Yes, actually yes." I replied harshly.

She fumed. She stared at me, not knowing what to say then she stormed of the door, slamming it as hard as she could behind her. My mood had just took a huge turnaround, a few minutes ago I was happy my sister is back home, now I felt like I hated her. I tossed around bed for about an hour or so trying to drift off to sleep and eventually woke up when my phone chimed.

"How are you, ugly blonde duckling?" The text read and recognized the number as Patrick's, and surprisingly, I blushed.

"Your girl is around, wanna meet up tomorrow?" I texted back. After a while my phone chimed again.

"Tomorrow? Why not now?" Before I could even reply I heard a pebble peck at my window.

I dropped my phone, went on to slide the curtian. There, in the inky dark, down the street - he stood groggy and his fluffy hair was flying around in the cold night breeze.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered with giggles in between.

"Come, if you may, shall we watch the stars once more?" He shouted on the street.

"Heey. Shhh." I said. " I didn't know alcohol can make you a whole Shakespeare?" We both giggled and then he looked at me.

"Is thou suprised?"

"Starr, you have to go please." I couldn't bear the feeling of watching him from afar, I wanted to be close to him and hold him tight between my arms, but I feared I was getting too attached to him than I should.

"Oh please. I even brought wine. You do not want wine?" He asked with a little smirk on his face.

I disappeared from the window and went on to change. I wore black trackpants and a black hoodie. I swindled the door very slowly and snuck out the back yard to meet him. I ran and hugged him so tightly and he smelled really good.

"Don't tell me you began the party without me?"

"Just a little bit," he half laughed. "There's more at my house."

"I'll race you there," I said as I started panting my slow legs. I never had an athletic body, so did Starr who was already half drunk, boosting my winning chances, I thought.

His easily flew past me with the bottle on his hand jiggling. As soon as he passed me, I went on and jumped on his back for a horse ride. Mayhem. We both fell on the pavement ripping his jeans wide open on his left knee. Blood oozed out. I was panicking, thinking he will throw a tantrum at me for ruining such a good moment.

"That was cheating, Amanda." He laughed hard and I couldn't help but join him. We decided to walk the rest of the journey rather than running and the bottle was already half empty by the time we got to his house - I was half drunk too.

We went on inside and I threw myself on the couch and let out a breath. He went on to the bathroom and I heard the tap ooz water. He was dressing his knee, I assumed. After several minutes he emerged from the hallway.

"A movie?" He asked.

"After the wine you promised and food please."

"Okay coming right up." He went to the kitchen and came back with a bowl of snacks and two glasses filled with wine. "What movie then?"

"Five feet apart?"

"What the heck is that?" He asked with a frown.

"You haven't seen Five feet apart?"

"I watch doccies, so yes I haven't," he replied rolling his eyes.

"Then Five Feet Apart it is!"

The movie went on played on the huge screen and then we were both silent and hooked to the movie. As I laid on his lap while watching the movie I felt a drop on my cheek. I turned to look where it was coming from and I found Starr crying. His face was still and firm, his emotion was almost unreadable.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah I am okay. Do you think sick people can fall in love?"

"They just did," I answered pointing towards the movie screen.

"But the circumstances were not suitable, they couldn't even kiss," he raged.

"Calm down."

"We can't fall in love because we know sooner or later, we'll die," he stood up and went to the kitchen, his tears were more than that of a sob.

"What....what do you mean?" I blinked my eyes to avoid the tears, as I followed him closely inside the kitchen. It was much cleaner than I thought it would be.

"Nothing. Never mind."

"Patrick, you promised that you won't push me away." I held his hand and said softly.

"I am responsible for my mother's death."

"No how is that any of your fault," I asked.

She found out I'm sick and won't make it till Christmas, then she fell ill..." he couldn't finish off his sentence.

"You're sick?" I asked slowly, "and won't make till Chris..."

"Yes. Yes, I am."

I was at a loss for words. He just said he would not be able to make it till Christmas. That would be roughly eight months from now, and he would be gone. It's not acceptable. I was tempted to ask so many questions, but I couldn't because the words wouldn't come out of the corners of my mouth. I began to reconsider why I had come here in the first place. I grabbed my phone and made my way to the front entrance. He drew me back to his chest with his other hand behind my waist while I was attempting to open it. I felt a large, kind hand on my left hand.

"Please stay," he said quietly. I removed his glasses and laid my arms on his shoulders, feeling his hands bring me up to his waist as my lips pressed firmly on his. As my lips crushed against him, my legs couldn't help but wrap around his waist. His kiss was warm, and it made me feel free and autonomous.

After a long while of kissing, with my every corner of my body being caressed to death, I felt something rigid go up inside me. I tugged my hands in his hair, he was breathing heavily. "Amanda," he said softly. I stood up quickly and felt the warm liquid wet my lower abdomen. Close, I thought. I quickly went up, with rush and regret, and went in the bathroom. I looked myself in the mirror and knew what more trouble was coming next. I knew the surveillance around Patrick and how tight it was. I quickly freshened up, and when I went out, I found him already passed on the couch. I went out the door and walked through the midnight darkness. I had just had sex with Starr.