closed doors (Alex Gaskarth fanfic)

old feelings.

*Skylar's POV*
I woke up to the annoying ringing of my cellphone. Of course, with my luck, it had stopped ringing once I managed to adjust myself to an upright position. I wiped the groggy haze out of my eyes and checked the time. it was 9am. I never wake up this early, but once I saw the caller ID, I smiled. I called him back and he answered on the second ring.

"hey jack! what's up?"
"hey sky. sorry for calling so early, but are you free today?"
"yeah, what did you have in mind?"
"great, come over around 10ish?"
"sure thing, see you then. bye J-Lo."
"see you. duces, skybird."

I hung up, smiling at the memory of how we got each others nicknames. memories of me and jack, the guys, that great day,....and him. I shook my head to make the thoughts fade a bit and got up to get ready. I took a shower, changed, and put my hair up. I didn't bother with any makeup, per usual lately. the clock read 9:45am, so I had some time to spare. I made some tea in a to-go cup, and headed out the door.

I pulled up to the house, sipping my tea. I stared up at the house as the memories came back to me. it had a single coat of frost on the roof, and little blankets of snow staggering off the edges of window seals. the snow of Baltimore rained lightly on my car, and I watched it fall from the gray sky. what was I doing here? I worked so hard to get away from him, to push him out of my life, and yet here I am. walking right back into him. into the place we shared out best and worst moments. my stomach flopped over as I stepped out of the car, and walked towards the front door.

I knocked, texting jack that I was outside. the door opened, and looking up from my phone, I was met by two friendly brown eyes. the same eyes I'd fallen in love with an easy two months ago. "hey." he waved, with a half-hearted smile. he still had some after shave on the sides of his face and chin, his hair was a mess, and he looked like he'd been crying. my impulses yelled at me to lunge at him and hold him,
but I refrained. instead, I quickly smiled and waved lightly, wandering my eyes to anywhere else but him. he cleared his throat, catching my attention, and gestured me inside. I walked inside and heard a door close behind me. home.

alex walked into the kitchen, saying something about make yourself at home. I ignored it and looked around, seeing if anything has changed. the living room was basically just as it was when I left,lightly sprinkled with trash and some knick knacks. the pictures of all of us were still there and so were the games we had bought together for the Xbox. I went upstairs into Alex's room. everything was the same. there was the first picture of us in a frame on the bedside table, my pillow was still there, and the bed sheets were worn out. I sunk down by the foot of the bed. it was like I never left. I didn't know what to think.

I realized jack wasn't here. nobody was, except me and Alex. jack said he had an "emergency", aka a gaming session with his girly friend. I knew he planned this. I walked downstairs to see Alex watching TV, looking dead. I cleared my throat, catching his attention. "um. I'm going to get going. I should really get some errands done. it was nice seeing you again, tell jack I said I'll text him later." he didn't move. he just stared at me. my cheeks became hot and I started for the door, this was a bad idea. I was about to reach for the doorknob when I felt two arms go around my waste, and a head on my shoulder. I froze, trying to resist melting into the familiar comfort of Alex's warmth. he let go and turned me around to face him, and he was crying. slow, single tears, falling from his eyes. it broke my heart, but I didn't want to be here. not now.

"Skylar..I miss you...I'm so-so sorry...I don't know..w-why.." he choked on tears building up, I pulled him down to me and cooed in his ear. shhh its okay. he was wrapped around me like a snake around his victim, but he was gentle. he shook his head on my shoulder, soaking parts of my shirt in tears. "Skylar..please...it was a mistake, I love you. I never loved her.. I was drunk and she's suicidal, I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry.. I ruined everything.." he started crying again. my heart was a withering flower at this point. I shed a few tears as I rubbed circles in his back. I pulled him off and stared at him in the eyes, placing my hand on his cheek. I missed him dearly. what he did hurt like hell, and is unjustifiable. but oh my god, I love him.

shocking both of us, I kissed him. it was passionate and loving and amazing. sure it hurt like hell, but I'd go to hell and back for this boy. I might have just made a huge mistake, but what can I say? I'm in love with Alexander William Gaskarth.