Spend Some Time (Eminem Fanfic)

67. Monster

There's like this... Tunnel or something that I keep running through.

"Daddy, you promised that you would stop going on tours all the time," Hailie says to me accusingly.

Lyric and Whitney both cry in unison, they always do that shit man, always following each other's lead.

"Daddy, I'm gonna take my braids out, so that mommy has to come by and fix my hair and spend time with you," Lyric says to me, giving me the puppy dog eyes.

"Nah baby, don't do that," I mutter and then feel somebody tap me on the shoulder.

Proof.

"What are you doing, you fucking idiot?!" He asks me.

"Fuck you mean, doody?"

My vision must be blurry.

Because instead of Proof, I see Melody now, packing her bags again, damn she loves to do that!

"See, you are doing this to me again, Mel, you are fucking bailing on me when I needed you most!!" I exclaim. I mean, how dare she do that when I need her so badly right now after Proof died.

Wait, what the fuck, Proof died?! He can't be dead!

"Daddy, help mommy, her wrists are bleeding!" Hailie exclaims, bringing me out of my thoughts.

What?!

Wait nah, Hailie never actually said that to me, wasn't it a line in one of my songs?

What the fuck is going...

I'm a kid again and I get punched in the face so hard that shit almost knocks me out.

Then I jump off the stage and punch some motherfucker in the face that was just yelling at me that I can't rap cause I'm white. Introduce him to that deadly right hook.

"Are you crazy?! You can't go back out there!! They almost killed your crazy white ass in there!!" Some girl with curly hair yells at me. Fuck is her problem, she better get out of my way if she knows what's good for her. But why does she look so familiar?!

Suddenly, the girl grabs the back of my neck and smashes her lips to mine and she feels so familiar too, like I knew her my whole life. Wait, don't I know her for real?!

"Marshall, please promise me you won't do that song on stage when I'm in the audience," Kim says to me, and I look her straight in the eyes and lie and say that I won't. Even though I know damn well that I will.

"Marshall, I think I'm in love with you," Melody says.

Why would she say that to me now though? I mean, I like to have her on tour with me, and I love fucking her, but the whole in love shit, really?! Fuck am I supposed to do with that?! I mean, how do I even respond to that, do I love her too? Fuck me, I do. What?!

"Marshall, get your ass up and off of that table, right now!" Proof screams at me.

So I get off the operating table and just start rapping. I don't even know what is it I rap about, but I know I gotta impress Dre, cause Dre's gotta sign me! If he doesn't sign me, then that's it!! I have officially hit rock bottom yo, and if I don't get out of this slum right now, I don't know what imma do. I can't even afford to buy Hailie a Christmas gift! I feel like I'm failing man, I'm failing as a man and a father.

"Cut!!" The director Curtis Hanson screams. Damn, I'm tired of making this movie...

Here's 50 Cent though. Is that what they call him? I start rapping his own lyrics to him, cause I'm just so hyped to meet him and sign him, and he's just looking at me like I'm crazy.

Am I crazy though?! Nevermind if I am, the pills would fix it anyway.

Yeah word, you rap about it, keep it real!

Blue pills, purple pulls, however the fuck it goes...

The phone rings and I'm scared to pick it up. It seems like it's never nothing good when somebody calls my damn house line. So I don't pick up. My mother does though. She walks through the door and looks at me with tears in her eyes.

"Marshall, Ronnie has died," she says. "They say he shot himself in the head."

No, it can't fucking be! Why does everybody that means a damn to me always have to leave me one way or another?

A baby is crying. A newborn baby girl. I take one look at her, and she looks just like me. Hailie. I was gonna make Kim take her for a paternity test at first, but not anymore. Because Hailie looks just like me when I was a baby...

And Lyric looks just like her momma.

The same girl I always make cry so damn much.

Nate gets taken away by the state again, because my damn bitch mother couldn't stop neglecting him the same way she did me...

"Just take another pill, yeah I bet you you will!
You rap about it, yeah word, kid keep it real"

I slap Melody across the face and I hate myself for it. Why do I keep doing this to her?! She does not deserve this. She deserves the fucking world, but I just can't give it to her right now, so I just keep giving her shit, and I honestly don't know why she keeps taking it.

"Marshall!!"

Who the fuck is calling me now?! Is it my maker?! Might as well be at this point.

"Daddy, don't you die on me!!" One of my daughters, don't even know which one at this point... Simply because I love all of them equally, it's hard to differentiate between them.

"Damn dawg, I ain't know you were white for real!" Dre exclaims to me in surprise. It's my first time meeting him, I think. "Why you wearing this yellow ass suit though, looking like a damn banana..."

"You are an ungrateful ass son of a bitch, Marshall," my mother says to me, her voice full of hurt and anger. "How dare you make up all this vile shit about me on your songs?!"

"Fuck you, Debbie!!" I scream. The fucking nerve of her. Plus, calling me a son of a bitch, ain't she just call herself a bitch by saying that? What a dumb bitch, I do love her though, she's still my momma...

"Listen to me, you selfish fucking prick," now that is definitely Mel's voice, but why the fuck is she so angry? What have I done this time? Not that I don't always do some messed-up shit. "I am so sick and tired of your shit, do you know that, Marshall?! Look what you did now! I've been telling you and telling you to leave that pill popping shit alone, but did you listen? Nooooooo!! Because Marshall always has to do what he wants only, no matter the circumstances and no matter how much it affects and hurts other people..."

Oh yeah, Mel always nags me about the pills. Deep down inside I know she does this cause she cares. And cause she's got a point. If I don't stop with the drugs imma die.

Wait, ain't I already dead?!

No, I'm not. I'm alive.

But why can't I fucking move though?! I can hear her talking to me, but I can't fucking move...