Stay A While | DR3 | BOOK 2

29 - Proposals

"But Lex I don't know if you can tell— I'm done. When this all blows up in your face and you can't do it anymore, like I know it will... I won't be there. Not this time."

--

"I've never been anything but good to him! He's my big brother, for gods sake. And all that shit about cleaning up my messes— where is the accountability for all the messes he has ever made!? As if he's mister perfect or something!"

"He's surely not perfect," Daniel hummed.

I let out a groan. An angry consortium of a roar and a grunt. "And did you see Carlee? She was beside herself. We were all upset as is, considering... you know." I nodded back down the stretch of road Daniel and I had just driven, away from the ceremony. Back to the hotel. Off through the traffic laden streets back to Pearson. Out of Toronto, and far away from Carson.

Daniel nodded along, keeping his eyes on the road. Letting me vent. Listening to every anger-laced punch I had to throw, sans-judgement.

"She couldn't even make eye contact with me." My heart twinged thinking about Carlee, my mind completely shoving Carson to the side. What did this mean for us? I didn't want to make her feel like she had to choose. She is his wife. Alex's mom.

He wanted me to stay away? To stop asking? Fine. That's what he'd get. I'd done it before, I'll do it again.

Rory, on the other hand, hadn't stopped texting me since Carson and I's spat.

Daniel pulled me aside, keeping me isolated close to him, making sure I was okay. Rubbing my shoulders, helping me control my breathing. Making sure I stayed composed, at least until we left the venue. Making sure I kept all of this in.

I'd never embarrass myself in front of my whole family like Carson. Talk about messy.

"I'm so through with him!" I nearly wretched as I thoroughly vented my frustration. Every nerve in my body was firing on empty, though I knew I wasn't the one being irrational.

Maybe a bit. But no more than he was!

As if it wasn't enough that we had lost Dad. It was clear now he didn't want me in his life. In loosing Dad, I was also loosing my big brother. One loss by choice, one not so much.

Thinking about it now, over the course of the nine hour chartered jet back to Heathrow; this was so like Carson. Typical him to make a scene, to take such an important moment and twist it all to be something it wasn't. I only hoped he didn't ruin the day for anyone else. I wasn't expecting an apology. I didn't want one. In fact, I was glad my brother did the one thing I probably didn't have the foresight to do.

To draw the line. To create the boundary.

It helped that I went to work the following week and didn't have to worry about him lingering around, sharing a workspace where we were forced into being in the same space. The heavy energy hovering between us in meetings. In the common spaces at the Tech Centre. It helped that on top of having to pretend like everything was okay, I didn't have to pretend that Carson and I weren't in a feud, with him being on paternity leave.

I didn't need Carson, I kept reminding myself. Just when my mind would go there, would consider being the first to reach out, to apologize for what happened back in Toronto— I remembered the vile look in his eyes as he looked between Daniel and I. The lack of care.

What had I ever done to him to make him feel that way?

It didn't matter, not if he didn't want it to. Clearly it wasn't worth my time, and I had a handful of things I could focus on that were.