Trapped in my head

Chapter 13

They spend almost two hours laying on the bed in the on call room, cuddled into each other, both of them fast asleep. Andrew had kept thinking about what he had learned about Meredith today a lot though. How scared she was about what was happening between them and that she was having meltdowns from it. He definitely needed to do some more research, especially on how to help her if she would be experiencing one of them again. But the fact that she had told him how much it had helped her that he had been there showed him that she was really trying to let him in and really trying to make this work. But knowing about how hard all of this was for her wasn't really easy for him as well. He was scared that it would get too much for her and if it would he didn't know how he would be able to help. Because to every other human being, integrating new friends or boyfriends into their life was happening automatically, they didn't think too much about it and for them it was easy to let go off people and meet new ones. But to Meredith it was different and that was the thing he was trying to understand. To Meredith this whole process of trusting new people, getting to know them and meeting them, having conversations with them and going out was a lot harder and it didn't work automatically.

Meredith was overthinking and overanalysing everything, he had learned that already. And integrating new people into her life was changing her usual routine which led to a lot of additional anxiety for her. And therefor she was having those meltdowns. During his research about ASD he had already learned that consistent and predictable routines and structure were very important for autistic people and a change in their routine could be very distressing. But he had also learned that it would support autists to explain the change to them and reassure them that it would be okay and that the rest of their daily structure would remain. And he had tried to do exactly that. But he wasn't exactly sure if it had worked.

Well, she was currently sleeping in his arms which definitely was a good sign. But was she less scared now as well? Maybe he should try to make a plan and design their dating like a routine so it would be easier for her. They could agree on a day they could go out on every week. Would that help? Probably, because like this their relationship could be integrated into her daily routine. And he knew that this was serious because somehow it would be a lot different from the relationships he had had before. But that was okay. Because he liked Meredith a lot, she was absolutely amazing and when she managed to be relaxed like she had been on their first date she was just- perfect and he loved spending time with her. And he was also more than ready to be there for her on the bad days as well.

He woke up again to Meredith slightly moving in his arms, cuddling herself further into him. He smiled as he tightened the grip on her a little, softly stroking her stomach. This was something whole new and he absolutely loved it. Usually his relationships started with sex and they went on dates afterwards but this was even better. They were slowly getting to know each other and this cuddling thing was so much better than sex. Also, he needed to take into account that Meredith was a virgin and therefor it'll probably take a little longer for her to be ready but honestly that was fine with him. Because having her in his arms like right now was by far the best thing that had happened today.

After a few more minutes she started to wake up as well, turning around and facing him now, her eyes suddenly wide open as she realized where she was. "It's okay, we're just cuddling, everything's fine." He chuckled, caressing her back reassuringly. He continued to smile at her as she slowly started to relax again, melting into his arms. "I should go. I have therapy today." He heard her mumble. "You go to therapy?" he asked, not really surprised but thankful that she was opening up to him even more now. "Yeah, once every two weeks." She replied quietly, not sure what he would think of that. "That's good Mer." He gave back, not wanting her to be embarrassed about it. Slowly she sat up, trying to sort out her hair a little. "I'll go, thank you for- staying here with me the whole time." Meredith whispered, avoiding his eyes. "You're welcome." He said, sitting up as well, looking at her from the side.

"Why are you smiling so bright?" he asked her as he saw the big grin on her face, her cheeks slightly red once again. "Want a kiss?" he guessed, leaning in as she nodded to place a kiss on her soft lips. "You're so adorable." He whispered, their faces still very close to each other's. He smiled even brighter as she giggled, kissing him again. "I really should go." She then whispered, not being able to stop smiling.

"Okay, I'll text you later." He replied, watching as she stood up and walked out of the room, almost bumping into the wall, making him shake his head as he chuckled. 

Sorry that the chapter is extremely short I will psot another one later on that will be a little longer =) Leave suggestions as always and your opinion of the story so far!