Never Safe

Chapter Twenty-Five

You groaned.

The light was too bright. There was a monotonous beeping sound that was annoying the fuck out of you. You felt pain... pretty much everywhere. The headache was the worst.

There had been people talking, but they shut up when you made a noise.

"Y/n?"

You hadn't reached a state of full consciousness yet, so the voice sounded sort of muffled in your head. You felt someone stroke the back of your right hand, so you forced your eyes to open to see who was there. Your vision was blurry; you saw a few figures standing around the bed you were in. You focused; your eyes adjusted enough to recognise the person closest to you. You turned over your hand so your palm was facing the ceiling, and Bucky interlocked his fingers with yours. He smiled. "Hey."

You didn't say anything. You didn't even smile back. But you gently squeezed his hand in yours.

You knew the others were watching you, but you didn't want to look at them. It was making you uncomfortable, more so than you already were.

"Are you feeling okay?"

You sat still for a moment, then slowly shook your head.

"Can we talk about it?"

You glanced at the others for a split second. Bucky noticed.

"You want me to tell everyone to piss off? So it's just me and you?"

You nodded.

"Okay" he smiled at you before looking around everyone else. "Everyone... piss off."

They didn't really question it. They just left. Bruce said something about coming back in a bit so check on you, but he still left as the others did. Bucky watched until every one of them was out the door before returning his attention to you.

"Now, can you say something so I know you haven't lost your voice."

You spoke quietly. "Where are we?"

"We are at the Compound."

"How long have we been here?"

"We got back about midday, so about five hours."

You weren't sure what else to ask. Luckily, Bucky had things in mind.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

You shrugged.

"What hurts?"

"My head, mostly."

"Bad headache?"

"Something like that."

"When Bruce gets back, we'll ask him about that then... can you tell me what happened? While you were there?"

You thought about it. You hated reliving it in your mind. You didn't really want to talk about it.

Bucky had pieced some bits together on his own. He recognised the marking around your eyes. He had had similar ones when he was there. He could guess what tools and weapons had made the cuts and bruises on your skin. But he wanted to go deeper, find the hurt you were clearly hiding beneath the surface.

"Do you want to break it down?" He wondered if that would be easier for you. "Did you eat?"

You shook your head.

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really."

"How did you sleep?"

"Um..." This was where it got difficult. "It- it wasn't really... I didn't really go to sleep. I- I'd just... pass out, when the pain got too much" the memory brought tears to your eyes. "And they'd- they'd hurt me, to wake me up... they'd-" the tears were falling now.