Always and Forever

Chapter 30

*Jake’s POV*

-         Hackerman, do you want to meet your mother?

The answer is: “Yes, I do”. I want to meet my mother with all of my heart but I can’t do it. It’s really risky, I can’t put her in danger. I don’t know if Joseph knows about my mother. Also I don’t know if I’ll survive in this fight. I don’t want to give my mother false hope and then die the next day. So I think it’s better if i don’t meet her, even though it’s something I want the most and something I need.

-         I can’t meet her, Daniel.

-         Why not?

-         I have my reasons.

-         Jake I’m sure you saw how heartbroken she was. You want me to believe that you’re so heartless that you don’t even want to meet your mother who is grieving your death and tell her you’re alive?

-         It’s not that I don’t want to meet her, Daniel. I can’t.

-         Can you at least explain to me why?

-         No.

-         You’re very stubborn.

-         So I’ve been told.

He sighed and I laughed to myself. It’s so easy to annoy him and when I do, I feel very proud of myself. For some reason it’s something I like doing these days.

-         Jake, seriously, tell me why you can’t meet her.

-         I don’t want to give her false hope.

-         Of course. What else would you be thinking?

-         So since you know, stop talking about this and just drive, Daniel.

-         Yes, now I know and because of that I’ll do anything for you to meet your mother.

-         Why are you doing this Daniel?

-         Because you need this.

-         Why do you care?

-         Because you’re my friend who just lost his wife and even though I am a very good friend, I’m not someone you’d like to talk about your emotions with. Do you think I don’t know how much you’re suffering?

-         Daniel…

-         No, stop it. Admit that you want to open up to someone.

-         Daniel…

-         You need her and she needs you.

-         Daniel!

-         No, Jake. I am not letting go of that topic. You have to see her.

I put my head in my hands. I have no idea how Daniel knows me this well, but whatever he just said is true. I needed to talk to someone and my mother was the best option, but I’m still scared that because of my emotions I’ll put her in danger. What if Joseph does something to her and I won’t be able to protect her just like I couldn’t protect Ella? What will I do then?

-         Do not overthink Jake.

-         I’m not, Daniel.

-         Stop lying. Nothing will happen. I am with you and I always will be.

-         Please don’t say those words.

He sighed and looked at the road without saying anything. I could see he was angry but I didn’t care. Thinking about meeting my mother feels good but I can’t let my emotions change my mind about all of this situation.