WANT (Complete ✔️)

Chapter Seventy Nine

Lia

At breakfast, my girls can't stop teasing me about last night. They saw Xavier walk out of my room looking pretty disheveled so they concluded that we did something last night. I can't even deny that because something did happen last night.

I gave myself an orgasm right under him.

My cheeks flood with warmth. I can't believe I did that with him right near my body. And I let him watch and use my toy to give me pleasure. I swear my brain cells disappear the moment he's in my vicinity.

But as much as it makes me shy, I can't deny that it was hot. Beyond hot. It was the most adventurous, intimating moment of my life. And I shared it with him.

Now that my sexual frustration has dissipated, I am able to breathe and think properly. Especially about what I said to Xavier last night back at Viini's beach house.

I told him he was replaceable.

I'm a complete idiot.

Why do I keep hurting him with my words? Because each time I see the pain in his eyes, it pricks my heart until it's left in a bleeding mess. Making him hate me is only going to make me hate myself. I'm being defensive because he hurt me. I want to hurt him to make him feel what he made me feel by playing a heartbreaking game with me.

I want to get control of my heart back because ever since that bet was revealed I feel as though Xavier has it locked in a glass cage and I have no way of getting it back without trusting him again. I want to protect myself from the heartbreak he gave me, is that wrong? Is it wrong of me to want to protect myself? It's like, after finding out about that bet has left a gate for all the dark, nightmarish, cruel, lying monsters to crawl out and destroy us.

It's left me wandering in an empty void where there is a spider web of directions.

Ugh.

Why is love so complicated?

Forgetting about all that, I get ready for the day ahead of us. I told the girls about that waterfall Theo told me about and they're intrigued so we're going there. Blair has texted Viini to ask if he and the rest wanted to come along with us. And now, Nolee, Blair, and I are piled in our hired Jeep and following the boys. Viini and Theo are driving separately whilst Zack and Hudson carpool with Xavier who is driving a black Jeep Wrangler.

I need to apologize to Theo on Xavier's behalf. Xavier should not have pushed him like that.

After driving down scenic routes, and breathing in the fresh, warm air, we arrive at the waterfall. The sound is so soothing that I could just drag my bed here and lay here forever. I've just hopped out of the Jeep when I hear a bark and the moment I see the cloud of fluff that my heart is attached to, my whole world lights up.

"Bloo!" I squeal when my puppy comes running at me and I drop to my knees to hug the crap out of him. His tail wags in excitement and he can't stop panting happily at me.

Emotion clogs up my throat and my eyes water as I cup his face and kiss him all over. I've missed Bloo so freaking much.

His little smile eases the pain I've been feeling ever since that night.

Losing Xavier was hard enough, not being able to see and play with Bloo regularly is like having salt poured all over my open wounds.

Nolee and Blair pet Bloo, them too, surprised to see him here. Xavier brought him to Hawaii with him. 

My eyes sneak a peek at Xavier. He's leaning against his black Jeep, arms crossed and contently watching me fuss over our dog. My cheeks flush with warmth as memories from last night filter into my mind. The way he was leaning over me, the way he was whispering filthy words into my ear, the way he made me come by using my own toy on me.