I Thought Love was Weakness?

CHAPTER 17.5!!!

I'm so sorry! I just realized that I made a mistake and titled 2 of my chapters Seventeen, so I missed posting the first one, which is critical to the storyline and one of the best chapters!

Here it is! (I recommend re-reading the chapters before because this is a major chapter and really good!)

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Clarke's POV-

My arm was slightly seething in pain as the warm scars reddened. I tried my best to focus on the music, dancing, and food, but I also couldn't help but become completely aware of the lack of distance between Lexa and I. Adding a 13th chair to the table had limited the space, so our knees were touching. I cautiously looked to see if the delegate to her left was also touching knees, but they weren't. We each had every opportunity to shift our position, but neither of us took it.

Lately, I couldn't stop thinking about Lexa. Her hair, her voice, her confidence, her touch, and her lips. I ached for her attention but had been denied it multiple times over the last few days. I knew that she had feelings for me as I did for her, but she had trouble expressing them ever since the leaders had arrived. Tensions were high especially when the Queen of Azgeda was present, for good reason.

Lexa's POV-

The night had gone smoothly and was a great success! The best part of it all would be that Queen Nia would be gone the next day, meaning I could spend time with Clarke.

I'm not sure if Nia thought I was stupid, but I know that her bringing her Natblita and warriors here is not a coincidence. It was a threat. The sooner she leaves, the better.

On the other hand, it had become increasingly hard to stop thinking about Clarke. I tried to distract myself with other women, but it pained me to kiss someone else. I kept telling myself it was for her safety, but the truth is that I'm afraid to love someone, in fear that I will be exploited.

I could feel Clarke's warmth just inches from my right, and I could hear each breath she took. All that I wanted was to be alone with her, but I wasn't, so instead I would talk to each leader as a distraction.

Clarke's POV-

The attention Lexa gave others but not me hurt. She hadn't even glanced my direction all night even though I was just inches from her. Instead, she conversed with everyone around our table.

"How're the new boundaries between Trikru and Flokru working?" She inquired to Luna.

"Great! It was a brilliant idea, and it has helped our fishing economy flourish!"

She turned her head again to the leader of Louwoda Klironkru.

"Abestus, how is your wife?" He looked to be in his 40's and had salted black hair. He was gentle looking but large.

"She's wonderful!" He responded to the Commander.

"I'm glad!"

My heart was beating out of my chest and my butterflies were fighting their cage. I needed something from Lexa, anything.

While she was speaking to Abestus, I reached my hand under the table and placed it on Lexa's upper thigh. Surprised, she stuttered mid-sentence, cheeks flushed and lost track of what she was saying. After a few moments of regaining focus, Lexa continued with her conversation as if nothing happened, not yet looking at Clarke still.

With malicious intent, I moved my hand further up the Commander's thigh until it was fully submerged under the hem of her long dress.

She let out a loud gasp, halting the conversations at the table.