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Every night feels exactly the same.
In fact every second of every day feels exactly the same.

I remember him.
So vividly.

I haven't slept on my own without drugs since the moment I found out about his passing.
Sahil was the first man I ever loved, I loved him more than anything and I lost him.

I woke up one morning with the news of his passing and since then I haven't found anything else to keep me going. I can't believe it's just been 8months, to me it felt like eternity. Going through everyday without his texts, his voice and his personality.
I huff as I wipe away my tears.

Most times I just sit on my bed and cry all night, sometimes I pray instead and other nights I drug myself.

Last night was one of those nights that my body felt too weak to sleep or take drugs, it wanted to cry.

I check my watch, it's already 8:30am and I need to get ready to open the store. After gathering up all the courage I could I make my bed, brushed my teeth, took my bath and got dressed.

Within twenty minutes I was already in the kitchen. I have just two siblings and both my parents are alive but our home is a dead one. It's like we're all related but we don't give a damn about each other except my mom, that's why she always looks like she's going to lose her mind.

Seconds later she walks in with her usual frown. She always has it on her face when she sees me.
"Are you going to see your therapist after work?"

I nod but she and I both know I wouldn't.
"Rakiya, it's been 8months and you're still a wreck. You look 20times smaller than you were. You barely sleep and eat, you don't talk to anyone and you cry for hours. Please put it behind you"

"I have, that's why I'm going to work but it's not my fault every single thing I do reminds me of him"
She nods "Is Yusuf picking you up?"

I nod.
Yusuf is my best friend, we've been friends since primary school.
"I think you should get ready then, so you'll leave the moment he arrives. You know him, if he walks inside this house it takes hours for him to leave"

I nod "Okay"


::

He parks infront of the store.
"Will you pick me up?" I ask hoping he would say yes.
He smiles "I have good news"

"What?"
"You have to smile for me first"
I roll my eyes "Don't make me throw up"

He chuckles "Anyway, Mimi wants you to design a dress for her"
I freeze.
"I know you're in shock, she has a wedding in three months, it's one of her friend's daughters and it's in Lagos"

I hug him in excitement "Are you serious?"
"She said she promised"

Yes.
Mimi is probably the most stylish and fashionable woman in Nigeria. And I mean it.
Yusuf's family is disgustingly rich, I mean oil kinda money. It all started when his father and brother decided they were tired of poverty, I don't know the full story.

Anyway, Mimi's parents are wealthy too and she didn't even grow up here. They got married and gave birth to Aisha and then her pride and joy Yusuf. Anything the woman wears trends and I'm not even joking.

She's it.
She's got power, wealth, looks and style. I want to be her so bad. If I haven't mentioned I'm a fashion designer when I told her about it years ago when I started she promised me that if I put effort and tried my very best that I'd design a dress for her and the day is finally here although I thought she was just pulling my leg but I guess not.

"When should I see her? Are you sure? You think she really meant it? How soon? When?"
He laughs excitedly "It's odd how excited you sound but how sad you look"

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