Off The Ice // A Patrick Kane Fanfic

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"You're not serious."

That's not the response I was hoping for.

I spent the entire weekend trying to pretend like everything was fine, and it was not easy. My family was still tentative asking questions about my relationship, and that only made me more nervous. I didn't tell them I'm pregnant. I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want it getting back to Patrick before I could tell him.

As soon as I got here I knew I'd have to tell him. This isn't something I can hide, not for long anyway. And I don't want to hide it from him. This is big. This is bigger than big, and he has a right to be a part of it.

So as soon as I walked in, I told him we needed to talk. He looked terrified as soon as the words were out. As well he should. Those are the most dreaded words anyone in a relationship can hear.

I didn't waste time with fancy words. Mostly because I couldn't really think of any. But as soon as I said the 'P' word I knew it was a mistake. Patrick just sat silently for a long time. I started holding my breath while I waited for him to answer. Not the best idea since I'm forming a tiny human-especially since I was getting lightheaded before he finally said something. His words didn't help with that.

"You're not serious," he says again. "You can't be."

I frown at his denial. I understand the feeling, but he needs to get over it. This isn't exactly something that can be ignored. Besides, "Would I really joke about this?"

"Yes," he latches on to the idea. "Yes you would. You love jokes, and pranking people, and freaking them out. This is right up your alley."

I get that he's scared, and probably in shock. The thing is, I don't really care. He's starting to piss me off. "I would never, ever joke about this Patrick. This is serious. This is HUGE! I don't know how I feel about it but I do know that I am not kidding about it."

He's shaking his head. "You can't be sure about this. Those home pregnancy tests aren't always accurate-"

"I went to my doctor. Next excuse." Harsh, but my level of pissed off is getting higher by the second.

He's still shaking his head. "Maybe they got it wrong."

"They didn't," I insist. "Why are you pushing this? I'm pregnant, and yes I know this is going to be a really big problem but why can't you just accept it so we can move on?"

"Because I am not about to be a dad!"

If there was anything in the world that could stun me silent it was this. I don't know how I feel about being a mom, but I've accepted that I'm going to be. I didn't expect Patrick to be happy, but I didn't expect him to not want it.

I put my hand over my stomach protectively, as though the baby can hear him. "You don't want to be a dad?" I ask, quietly.

My tone should have set off little warning bells all over the place, but apparently Patrick is deaf to them, because he shakes his head. "I don't just not want to be. I can't be. I'm not father material Jen."

I count to ten in my head to try and calm down. The last thing I need is to lose it and start hitting him.

"You seriously think you can't be a good father?" I shake my head. "That's bullshit. You'd be a great father. I've seen you with kids, you're amazing with them. I've seen you step up and be a leader. I've seen plenty of evidence that tells me you are more than father material.

"This? This tantrum and denial? It's not because you can't be a dad. It's because you're afraid to be one. You're scared out of your mind by this but, guess what? So am I! Do you think I'm ready to be a mom? Do you think I planned on this? Not even close! I'm terrified! But I'm putting it aside and accepting it because I am going to be a mom. That is the reality because I can't give up my child. It's not who I am.

"But you trying to tell me that it is who you are? I don't believe it for a second. You're terrified, plain and simple. But you need to get over that. We're going to be parents. Accept it."

The silence after my speech is broken only by our breathing. The weight of the quiet gets heavier and heavier as it extends. With each passing second my breathing gets easier, and the cracks in my heart splinter more and more.

I know what Patrick is going to say before he even opens his mouth. I can see it in his eyes.

"I can't be a dad." I knew he was going to say it. I knew it. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt hearing it.

I can feel myself starting to cry. The force I use to hold in my tears is no match however for the splinters turning to cracks, spreading in my broken heart.

I don't respond to his comment. I don't shake my head, or cry, or even acknowledge that he spoke. I can't. All I can do is walk away.

I walk down the hall in a daze. It lasts through the elevator, and the lobby, and all the way up until I get into my car.

Sadly, that's when reality hits.

I push it back as much as I can but the tears still come. And come and come and come. I'm not sure how long I sit in the driver's seat, sobbing so violently I know I'm going to make myself sick. This can't be good for the baby, but I can't seem to stop.

Finally, after I don't even know how long, finally I calm down enough to drive. I take a few deep breaths, collecting myself, before turning the car on. I pull carefully out of the garage and onto the street.

I have a headache, my eyes are swollen and I feel like a sick mess. I probably look like it too. It's all I can do right now to keep it together. I knew he would take it bad but-

No. I can't think about that. If I think about it I'll just break down again. I put all my focus into not thinking about it, driving completely on autopilot. Thank goodness I know this way so well.

I'm halfway out of the city when my walls start breaking down. I fight it off as much as I can. Sitting at a stop sign with no one in sight I struggle to slow my breathing, keep myself collected. It's all coming at me at once and I put every shred of my will into just keeping it together.

That's probably why I don't see the car coming at me. I have just a second to realize it's there before it crashes into me head on.

A/N: so . . . thoughts? Comment! I really want to hear how you guys reacted to this part. Vote if you liked it! I know it was full of drama haha :) Thanks so much for reading! And thanks for all the feedback on the last part! I'm glad to see how much you guys like this story. I'm getting really excited for the new stories that will be coming soon too. I hope you all are too! Thanks for being the best readers ever, and remember to COMMENT I really want to know what you guys think :)