Heavenly Waters||Sirius Black

Chapter 48

When he lands, Sirius is first greeted by the sounds of waves crashing and seagulls cawing.

His first thought, surprisingly, is of Buckbeak. Sirius probably shouldn't have left the poor creature on his brother's doorstep. He certainly shouldn't have left him without a note. But Sirius couldn't see Regulus yet. He didn't want to see Remus yet again. Not without having seen Gwen. Not even catching a glimpse of her. Sirius may have failed part of his self directed mission. He failed to kill Peter. He wouldn't fail this part. Buckbeak was far too tired to fly them anywhere soon, and Sirius had one final thing to do before he gave chase to his Veela.

He had to say goodbye.

He stands, feet sinking into sand that maybe once formed a dune he'd stood on so long ago. A dune that he had landed on when fleeing his family, the one that looked out over the beach. That dune is gone, the sands far more flat than that first time he'd arrived here. The dune was gone. The house was gone.

Sirius stares at the patch of blackened sand where Gwen's cottage used to stand like a beacon of hope. He can still envision where he sat at her table and refused to talk of his parents. He can still feel the earth under his fingers as he burried bulbs in her garden. Her home. His home.

He wants to walk over and stand where he once kissed her because he could, to kneel where he once slept on his side of her bed. He wants to touch the soot and ashes that barely remain, the rest carried away by the wind. He wants to try and build a sand castle where the cottage once stood, to manufacture a structure that could house him and Gwen so that he can pretend the last twelve years haven't happened. But he can't.

He wishes he could believe it wouldn't be the last time he would see his first home. It feels like it is. It feels like this is it, that this is the end. Crouching down, Sirius scoops up some sand and let's it fall from his finger tips, watching it scatter on the wind. He grabs one more handful and sticks it into his pocket. He knows that his clothes will be sandy, he knows that most of the sand in his pocket will slowly spill out. He doesn't care. It feels good to take the beach with him. Even if it's just for a little while.

Sirius closes his eyes and smiles faintly, the wind kissing his face and the gulls cawing happily over head. He reaches into his bag, opening his eyes when he wraps his sandy fingers around cool metal.

He lifts his telescope to his eye, studying the map of the constellations that appears to him despite the shining sun over the sea. He reaches up on the scope, flipping at twisting until small orbs of light begin to glow on his map. He doesn't pay the other colors any mind, afraid that his heart will break if he thinks too long about the Potter's house. Instead, he focuses of the pale blue light that glows so dimly. He moves his telescope, slowly turning his head and holding his breath until the light grows brighter.

"Inferi," He murmurs, smiling faintly. He holds onto that blue light, pictures it as he had so many years ago. He knows the destination will be different, but that doesn't sway him. He pockets his telescope, closes his eyes, and apparates away from the beach one final time.

He's not sure his body can withstand the apparation, having avoided using it since he fled Azkaban. It was a physically and mentally strenuous task, one that he hadn't performed in over a decade. It hurts, it makes his head spin, but his vision of where he will end up is so beautiful he can ignore the momentary pain.

And when he lands, before he can feel relief, he feels disappointment.

"You've got to be fucking joking," He can't keep the words from his mouth, nor the incredulity in his tone. This wasn't right. This couldn't be right.

Sirius stares at the sleepy fishing town, studying the boarded up windows and dull colors. A door opens and closes in the distance, shouting so faint he can't make out the words spilling down an alleyway. A cat wanders by, barely sparing him a glance before continuing it's journey. He takes in the harbor littered with trash and rusted boats, nose crinkling at a sailboat tied up nearby with a muggle snoring peacefully on the deck. Nope. The map was wrong.