Heavenly Waters||Sirius Black

Chapter 49

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There's something unsettling in the air that dances off the ocean this morning.

Gwen can't place it, she can only wrestle with the fact that it isn't just now. She'd been unsettled since she left Hogwarts, worried about Harry spending the summer with his rather unfortunate excuse for an aunt and uncle.

She had ignored owls from Dumbledore, had waved away a familiar one the color of coal rather frequently. She didn't want to talk to Little or Remus. She didn't want to talk to anyone.

Well, that wasn't exactly true.

She'd spent hours waiting for sleep at night, desperate to close her eyes and see James at least. He never came. Sleep never came. And she never saw the person she'd wanted to lay eyes upon for twelve years.

She wanted rest, she wanted freedom. And while the shackles that kept her chained to the shore were loosening over time, the ocean still sang the promise of relief that would lead her to never surface again. Unsettled. She was unsettled, exhausted. She couldn't remember what peace felt like anymore, only that life felt about as frustrating as her inability to close her eyes and sleep.

She'd wished late last night for something other than Sirius for the first time. She'd wished for that sodding sleeping draught, she'd screamed into her pillow for it, desperate and in pain. Withdrawal from peace, withdrawal from rest, withdrawal from a potion she's come to depend on.

Gwen looks down at the sand castle she'd made, just out of reach of the tide. The sea breeze is warm today, she wears sleeves anyway. She'd become used to it, hiding bits of herself. That was exhausting too, but when she dips her hand into incoming water and scoops up a handful of heavy sand, letting it drip from her fingers, some of that exhaustion fades.

Maybe she could sleep finally. Maybe she already was asleep. That becomes more likely when she hears faintly,

"Ninnie! Ninnie!"

She looks up, expecting to see a boy with messy hair and glasses. James, or maybe even Harry. She misses them too, lays awake at night and wonders if she will maybe see them. Finally, she sees someone. Her eyes squint to make out the shape running her way, a mirage in a desert of restlessness and unsettling feelings.

Her brows furrow, taking in the broad shoulders and ink colored hair. She's not afraid. Nothing could make it through her wards and live to speak of it. A dream. She's dreaming. Finally, she's dreaming.

She's dreaming something wonderful, something that eases her unsettled mind. She knows she must be dreaming because after all of this time, the man she'd craved to see is on her beach, running towards her like his feet have wings.

Sirius races towards her, thundering across the wet sand with the wind whistling behind him, his chest heaving and eyes wide. And Gwen waits, feeling relief. She'd spent so long, had taken too many potions, all in the desperation to see him, to dream him.

But Gwen doesn't remember taking a potion today, she doesn't remember caving to the desire she'd had since she'd stopped consuming them at Hogwarts, but she's too relieved to even consider that this wasn't a dream. Only a dream could be this good.

Only in her dreams would Sirius Black somehow manage to get through her deadly wards, and only in her dreams would he sprint along the shore, his shoes leaving prints behind that she hopes will be there when she opens her eyes. If she opens her eyes. If this is what is waiting to greet her when she sleeps, if she is finally dreaming the thing she'd hoped for for so long, she would gladly remain frozen in this state for the rest of her life.

Something slams into her and knocks the wind out of her as she hits the ground, something firm and lifelike, carrying the scent of wind and sweat and adrenaline. Her brows furrow, confused by how real this feels. Had she finally taken enough potion to addle her mind, to convince her that the arms squeezing the air from her lungs are made of flesh and muscle and bone?