Rosenpulvar: Do you take constructive criticism?
Oliver: Not without crying
Charolette: Forgive me Father, for I have sinny-sin-sinned.
Owen: Damn, the power went out.
Nora: Don't worry, I got this.
Nora: *stomps foot*
Owen: What-?
Nora: *Sketchers light up*
Rosenpulvar: Mint is just cold spicy.
The Squad: ...
Oliver: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.
Texty: Okay, what does A stand for?
Nora: Arson.
Texty: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for?
Nora: Barson.
Oliver: *laughter*
Texty: What stands for C?
Nora: Commit arson.
Oliver: Oooo. Texty: D!
Nora: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson.
Oliver: *more laughter*
Bryce, when Liam walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza.
Bryce: *accidentally smacks Texty in the face with the baking sheet*
Rosenpulvar: Hey, do you know the password to Oliver's computer?
Bradley: Fuck you, Rosenpulvar.
Rosenpulvar: Hey!!
Bradley: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouRosenpulvar".
Rosenpulvar: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.
Rosenpulvar: Guys, there's a monster under my bed and it's really ugly.
Oliver, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.
Owen: Do you have any idea what you're doing?
Mary: Why start now?
Liam: Is this your plan B?
Texty: Technically, this is plan P.
Liam: Plan P? Is there a plan M?
Texty: Yes, but I marry Mary in plan M.
Mary: I like plan M.
Amelia: Am I right, Mary?
Mary: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.
Liam: Plants have feelings too?! What is this? Now I can't have food!
Bradley: You can eat a rock.
Bryce: Air.
Texty: The fabric of time and space.
Mary: Chugging a bottle of bleach can solve all your problems.
Rosenpulvar: You guys are not helpful.
Rosenpulvar: They made Liam cry!
Owen: Liam always cries!
Liam: That's not true! *cries*
Texty to Oliver: We smell of sweat and loss.
Owen: I just want someone to take me out.
Liam: On a date?
Bryce: With a sniper gun?
Texty: Both if you're not a coward.
Nora, texting Mary: Mary there's a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it?
Nora: Pls hurry because I'm going to cry
Nora: Mary
Nora: Mary
Mary: Mary is dead. You're next. Love, Moth.
Police: You're under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Rosenpulvar, with Texty and Bradley behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!
Police: Yes...three.
Rosenpulvar: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?
Police: Wha-
Rosenpulvar: Oliver FUCKING FELL OFF!
Oliver: Why don't we just call it, "M.C. Donald's?"
Texty: Because it just sounds like a stupid rapper's name.
Rosenpulvar: It'd just be like- "Eyo, it's ya boy, M.C. Donald!"
Mary: So you like cats?
Texty: Yeah.
Mary: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*
Bryce: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing.
Rosenpulvar: But ya' didn't!
Rosenpulvar: Hey, I say we go down there, kick Amelia's door in, and let them know that we're in town.
Mary: That ain't the way we do things here. We may have to go in there and run a con, drop a bug, do the smooth talking.
Rosenpulvar: Okay, you come with me, you do the smooth talking, let's go.
Mary: No, we just can't go in there and kick down Amelia's door. We need a plan.
Rosenpulvar: Well who makes the plans?
Mary: Owen.
Rosenpulvar: Owen, what's the plan?
Owen:You guys are gonna go down there, kick Amelia's door in, let them know you're in town.
Rosenpulvar, to Nora: You have room temperature IQ.
Nora: What's room temperature IQ?
Bradley: 73°.
Nora: Oh, okay.
Nora: How much is that in IQ?
one of me own
*the door swings open.*
Uno and Dos:MOM WE'RE THIRSTY!!!
Texty(Kat):Well i should hope so!
You kids have been playing outside for
the past nine hours!
Uno and Dos:Yeaaahh...
Texty(Kat):How would you kids like a delicious,
chocolately glass of CIRCLETINE?
Uno and Dos:CIRCLETINEEE!!!
*Screams*
Texty(Kat):Get the milk and vinegar!
...
Mary:Hey gang!
Texty(Kat):CiRcLeTiNe
*Velociraptor roars*
*Mary shuts the door before the can of circletine hits her lol*
Texty(Kat):Mix it together kids!
*the two throw the mixer on the counter*
Uno and Dos:*More screaming*
....
Texty(Kat):It's ready.
Go tell uncle.
*Uno and Dos run into the living room where Liam is.*
Uno and Dos:CIRCLETINEEEE!
Liam:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
back on track lol
Mary: Go fuck yourself.
Texty, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch
(most cursed quote on web surfing)
Oliver: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Charolette: Remain CALM! *slaps Amelia multiple times*
Rosenpulvar: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth.
Charolette: Why?
Rosenpulvar, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.
Amelia: You three, explain right now!
Texty: It was Rosenpulvar.
Owen: It was Rosenpulvar.
Oliver: It was Rosenpulvar.
Rosenpulvar:
Rosenpulvar: ...fuck.
Bryce: Die.
Liam: Please don't die!
Bryce: DIE!
Liam: PLEASE DON'T DIE!
Oliver, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant?
Texty, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and Liam wants Bryce to accept it as their kid.
Rosenpulvar: You seem familiar... have I threatened you before?
Texty: If you really want to get back at a man, scare him with a pregnancy test. I've got a whole box of old positives at my house.
Mary: You're an American treasure.
*Oliver is fighting a criminal*
Rosenpulvar: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!
Oliver: The power to believe in myself!?
Rosenpulvar: No, your a knife! Stab it!
Oliver: Ew. What kind of tea is this?
Rosenpulvar: I boiled gatorade.
Nora: Who knew getting in trouble would be so impossible?
Owen: I gotta give you credit, Rosenpulvar. You make it look easy.
Rosenpulvar: Years of practice.
Texty: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.
Bradley, Entering Charolette's room: Texty did it again.
Charolette: Peace disturbance?
Bradley: What no-
Charolette: Arson..?
Bradley: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-
Charolette: uh....Attempted murder?
Bradley: NO, THEY CHEATED IN MARIO KART, BUT WHAT THE FU-
Bradley: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.
Charolette: But are you shuffling?
Bradley: Everyday.
Nora: What language are you two speaking??
YOU ARE READING
Web surfing
Non-FictionFeeding the Texty fanbase I haven't seen many fanfics just directly for Texty so I'll do this myself CHARACTER BELONGS TO ONE(HFJONE) BY CHEESY HFJ ON YT!!
