Here We Stand [H.S]

154.

So we had a lot to celebrate tonight.

It was a special day, and even though the butterflies were sitting pretty in my stomach right now, I was really nervous for Harry because I knew how much tonight meant to him (and the boys, of course) but being so close to Harry, knowing how his mind worked and how he presented himself, he was really nervous and it was hitting him straight in the face that after tonight, this was it.

As soon as that last note was sung, One Direction were over.

He had spent most of today on vocal rest after being unwell towards the end of the promotion schedule (he'd also been on complete vocal rest during the band's stint on Radio 1's Live Lounge with Grimmy last week) and even though he was feeling rough, he was putting his heart, mind, body and soul into his final performance... and I gave him the space that he needed to deal with that.

Until of course, the cheeky sod requested I spend my time in a nurse's costume and nurse him back to health.... and even though I didn't have the costume, I did my bit.

I loved looking after him, I did what I could and helped him when he was unwell, I took his temperature regularly, fed and watered him when he couldn't be bothered and forced him to sleep in bed when he was completely dying- between myself and Anne, we were the ultimate dream team in taking care of Harry and making sure he had all the supplements and vitamins he needed to get himself better.

Really, to me, I couldn't help but see that this was a sign that Harry was overworked... and this last performance could not come quick enough.

We had talked briefly, while he was ill in bed, about what he wanted to do during the hiatus and the same thing stood as last time- he wanted to take the rest of December off, and spend it with me and his family.

He still had yet to figure out if he wanted to stay with Modest or sign with another management company; but the icing on the cake was when he told me in confidence that he really wanted to give acting a go.

He had mentioned it beforehand, but now he was positive that he didn't want the solo adventure (not yet anyway) and he admitted that it just wasn't on his agenda yet- and how he really wanted to step away from music for a while and focus on something completely different.

I, of course, was completely supportive of his decision, wants and needs; and as long as he was happy doing what he loved, then he 100% had my backing.

"So, are you and Harry coming to the after show party tonight?" Lou asked, as she curled and tousled my hair, adding extra hairspray for effect; "I hope that you do, Harry never really attends any of the parties anymore."

I bit my lip, knowing that Harry wanted to escape to his Range Rover and drive to his mum's pretty much after the show was done.

"Oh.. well, I'm not sure actually, I know we were planning on going straight back to his mum's for Christmas-"

"Bit early, ain't it?" She said bluntly, "Y'know, if he isn't careful people will start to think he's above himself and wants to stretch away from the band quickly."

"Since when do you care what other people think?"

"I don't, but I know things like that deeply affect Harry and he hates it when people think so lowly of him."

That, immediately had my back up.

"Well, he doesn't need to worry about them, does he?"

"I love how defensive and protective you get over him, it's so nice to see... he needs that, he needs someone backing and fighting his corner, Iz... and you're doing the job beautifully."