I Wish [ManxMan]🦂

DRAY~15

If it were enough,

Before today. I was hungry to get to know these words. This phrase has existed within my mind since the belief of love became relevant in my life. The only phrase that relieved my heart from fears, convincing me everything would be alright. That despite not being their favorite person, their first choice, the one they need the most or even the one they wished to spend the most time with, there was still a purpose for my life. 

These words became a broken song, playing through my mind on repeat. A melody so damn beautiful that it made my heart weak.

Before today, these words broke me. Tear me into pieces. Shredded me to my core.

But not anymore.

Because of him.

Without knowing it, I didn't ask myself those words. And even now that I did, they don't bring pain to my heart. 

Now they are empty words.

So tell me, why can't I be with this man who makes me feel safe. Happy. 

Maybe I could somehow be his dream. The unconditional love he spoke of, about searching for that special someone. And maybe I would be more than just another person he sees, in this many faces and strangers floating along.

I would love myself-for me. Because he loves me. I will appreciate all my flaws that make me unique. I will breathe and I will blink and I will honor my existence with a blinding smile.

Because, standing in front of him, this moment.  His eyes are on me, if i were enough is now

I am enough.

Not because he told me that the second he met me. And not because he is looking at me like I am hanging the stars for him.

Because, just like magic. Just like a wish came true. I believe in those words. 

I am enough to deserve a good thing. A good man-like him.

To deserve intimacy with him.

Ti deserves the world with this man.

I watch him. Contemplating my next words. My next move. Will he be okay? Will he agree? 

Or will he be thinking of him?

Will he compare?

I close my eyes. Not wanting those thoughts to linger. I know this man standing before him.

I have kissed this man.

I have touched this man.

And now…

I want to get to know him. To touch his soul. His body. His heart.

I want to get inside him and watch him unravel before my eyes.

I crave him.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks. His eyes rummaging. Lust fills him. 

Like an open book, I read him. I want him.

But first, "I am sorry I jumped on you the first time we met. I didn't know." He needs to know that. 

"And yet, you are looking at me like you want to jump me right now." His voice is low. Lower than i have heard it before. My heart smiles. He wants me.

It's a good feeling. Of being wanted.

"Yes." I tell him honestly. Because that's what kept us going until this moment. We laid our scars bare to each other. There is no turning back now. 

"I was just wondering, if…," how do I finish this?

"If I want you the same way? After everything you learned about me?" He is good like that. Answering questions that I find hard to ask.