Valentina Storm

chapter 5 | my mornings ☔︎

Insomnia is a real bitch.

If I could I would cry myself to sleep but my body is just to tired to even do that.

I haven't had a full nice sleep since, well since forever and when I think I do I end up waking up due to a nightmare.

I sit up from the bed. Bella is sleeping right next to me with her arms and legs spreed out. Elaina is on the floor sleeping with pizza and drool in her mouth.

It's only 5 am and I only got three hours of sleep. It's something at least. I turn and look at the balcony. It's dark outside and it's looks like it starting to rain again.

I get off my bed and sit on the floor next to Mars bed. I pet him which then wakes him up. He's a scary looking dog but he's really a baby. I lean my head on the wall and take a deep breath.

I feel so tired and drained.

The day hasn't even started and I already feel like shit. The second I get up from my bed, everyday, I realize how depressing my life actually is. I hide it very well but I just don't know how much longer I can keep going.

It just reminds me of what a loser I am. Pretending to be something I am not. She wouldn't be proud, mother wouldn't be proud at all.

She always told me that if I ever feel lost I should talk to someone I trust. I have people I trust but I haven't said anything.

Eliana notices and tries to make me open up but I don't. Her being patient, she doesn't push it.

I feel bad. I make her sad when I am sad. She gets scared when I am scared. So I can't show her. I don't mean too.

I won't open up to my sister because she looks up to me and Leo, he's just too dumb. Darius is too busy and my father? He's already been through enough because of me.

No point in helping someone who doesn't want help.

"I want money." Bella mumbles in her sleep causing me to break out of my thoughts.

I need to stop with this depressing shit I ain't got time for this. Getting up, heading to the bathroom I turn it on and again the water is cold. I take off my clothes and step inside.

The water stings my body but like always it goes away.

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After getting ready and my hair is done I finally go to the mirror to do my makeup. It's to damn early for this shit I don't have the energy.

I apply concealer, mascara, blush, and little bit of lip gloss. I'm gonna be honest these Dior lip gloss oils are addictive.

Satisfied with how I look I go to the body length mirror and take a deep look of myself. A black long shelved shirt tucked into my baggy grey pants. Now putting a black coat over it and for footwear I chose white Nikes.