Valentina Storm

chapter 1 | Eliana ☔︎

I don't think I'll ever understand life.

The way it works.

Why things change and never stay the same.

Life is just always gonna be weird to me.

I turn to look out the window. I haven't slept at all. My thoughts have been keeping me up the whole night. Nothing new.

So much is going on with my life I can't even keep up. Just hours ago I was in France and now here I am in New York.

The thunder catches my attention. I really love the rain so much. The way it sounds, the smell. I love the thunder and lightning. The way it looks the sound it makes, so beautiful.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

I reopen them and again I'm filled with darkness. Moving into a luxury apartment with the view of the skyscrapers was actually a smart idea. The fog and clouds making the room even darker, I don't mind at all I love the dark too.

I sit up from my bed and continue to stare at the ceiling.

Just thinking and thinking.

I wonder what it feels like to be grateful for waking up. I wonder what it feels like to be proud every morning of yourself. The second I open my eyes, I feel nothing but emptiness.

I don't even know what I feel.

There is nothing that I'm so proud of.

I have nothing.

I close my eyes again and take another deep breath. I need to stop.

There's nothing wrong with me, I do this to myself. With all my nonsense overthinking.

But I just can't help it.

In the end I'm always right. They say their just your thoughts but why is it that in the end it always turns out to be true?

A tear slips out my eye.

Why am I even still here?

God I am so pathetic.

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

Oh to be Lana de ray.

She's so hot and beautiful.

Her voice is so smoothing. Her music takes me to other places that make me wanna stay there forever.

In Lana we trust.

It's now 10 am and I just decided to get out of my bed. It's still raining but it's no longer as dark as it was before.

I sit on my bed and take a deep breath.

Closing my eyes, I remind myself to stay calm.

My brain is still trying to process all the changes that is happing.

"Val should we buy a cake and smash it on Leo's face." I hear across the room.

I keep my eyes close and pretend I don't hear anything.

"Or how about we buy fake snakes and put them all over his room, wait no rats."

I peek my eyes open to find Eliana standing there looking at me.

"Which one's worse Val?" She asks me.

"How about we kill him then we don't have to worry about him anymore." I respond to her with a smile on my face.

God I love my brother but sometimes he just can't seem to shut the fuck up.

"You should start packing Val we're gonna have to leave soon."

I'm going home.

Home where everyone is gonna be.

All together...again.

Well not fully all together. They'll always be missing.

My father has called a family meeting. It's the reason why I had to fly all the way from France to New York. Though this isn't just any meeting. This meeting will have faces I prayed I wouldn't see again.

But aside from that I'm very happy to see my familia again. God I missed them so much. All these missions and work, I haven't been able to see them for a whole year.

Eliana takes me out of my thoughts when she touches my arm. "Positive thoughts Val, we are going because your dad needs to talk to us and he misses you very much."

She's right.

But I can't help but overthink.

Memories are creeping back. Everything I have been avoiding and running away from is slowly coming back out.

I want to cry now.

Eliana sits next to me. "Are you scared because he will be there?"

Ew.

I forgot about this him.

"No." I tell her

I forgot that he'll be there. I'll have to be there near him. Breathing the same air. Sleeping under the same roof. How freaking cute Val.

"Mhm sure, I know you don't like him and don't worry I don't either. He's stupid and he's probably really ugly. Don't worry Val I'll make sure to keep his ugly presence away from you." Eliana tells me with a very big smile.

God this woman.

"Don't worry about me I am fine." I tell her.

No the fuck I am not.

"We will not be attending the dinner, we still have some business to take care of so we won't make it on time. To be honest we'll probably be there till late at night." I inform Eliana.

Truth is I just don't want to hear my father complain about how I abandoned him. Dramatic ass.

"Yes ma'am I understand." With that Eliana stands up and says, "goodbye my queen I'll be in the kitchen." Then she bows down and leaves.

I became besties with a weirdo.

Home.

I'm finally going home.

I should be happy but for some reason I feel that weird sadness.

Why can't that bitch leave me alone and let me live my life.

Just like mama said it's okay to feel sad sometimes just don't let it ruin your day.

Why am I even feeling sad?

Maybe because this will be the first time we are all actually fully all together. The first time I'll see him. The first time I'll see him since they both died.

The first time I'll see him since six years.

~ ❦︎ ☔︎ ❦︎ ~