Can't Shake You

(56) Results&Forgiveness

Addie and Bucky did exactly what Dr. Baxter said for them to do. They did friend dates of lunch, dinner and movie nights just the two of them. Since Addie was still healing, Bucky didn't want to push her too much.

They also did the 5 Love Languages and 5 Apology Languages quizzes. Addie was a mix of Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. Bucky was of course Physical Touch and Quality Time. Their parents could see that both of them were happier after their first therapy session together and were communicating better than they had ever seen.

Bucky and Addie came into Dr. Baxter's office happier than the last time they were there.

Dr. Baxter smiled at them and said, "So I take it you two did your homework?"

"Yes," Bucky and Addie said looking and smiling at each other.

"What about the communication?" She asked.

"I think it's going well. I feel like I can talk to her about anything now," Bucky said smiling.

"Yeah I feel the same way and I asked him to sleep in the bed with me the day of our last session," Addie replied.

"Wow ok that's major progress. You emailed me your results of the quizzes and I looked over them. Addie you are Words of Affirmation and Quality Time for the love languages and Make Restitution for your apology language. James you are Physical Touch and Quality Time for the love languages and Planned Change for the apology language. I've printed out what each one means. I would like for you James to read what Addie's love and apology languages mean and Addie I would like for you to read James'. I'll give you some time then we will discuss how to apply them," Dr. Baxter said.

Bucky and Addie read the results and then looked up to Dr. Baxter once they were finished.

"When you are applying those love languages you are giving the other person love in the way they receive it. You both need quality time so we've already addressed that with the friend dates. James, Addie needs your words to back up your actions. You can't just profess it and not show that you mean it. Show her by communicating effectively, being considerate of her feelings, asking her before doing things. Addie, James receives love by touch so hugging him, holding his hand, cuddling, kissing those are the ways he receives and shows his love. Make Restitution in the apology language means James, that Addie won't believe your words like at all especially if your actions aren't showing you are apologetic which is why she always blew your off before any time you tried to talk to her.

Addie, James won't accept an apology unless there comes a plan to prevent it in the future so you two would have to come to a compromise and set boundaries to prevent those same things from happening.

You will apply all of these when communicating and when you're upset with the other one. If you both each love the other in the way the other receives it, it will create a deeper friendship, intimacy, trust, respect, honesty and vulnerability. If you don't have those in any relationship it won't succeed, but especially in a romantic one." Dr. Baxter explained.

"Ok, Doc Addie mentioned not feeling safe with me before. What did she mean by that?" Bucky asked.

"For most women James, affection, sex and any physical form of intimacy there has to be emotional security. In other words she has to feel emotionally, mentally and psychology safe with you. When she mentioned her late husband, she talked about how he didn't pressure her, he listened to her, consulted with her and took things at her speed. He was creating emotional security. I can tell that you are creating that with Addie because she's sitting closer to you then last time, she's smiling at you a lot more, she considers you a friend and she took a huge step and asked you to sleep with her in her bed," Dr. Baxter stated.

Bucky looked at Addie and asked, "Is that true? Am I making your feel safe with me?"

Addie smiled and said, "Yes. It started at the hospital, but has progressed more since he and the kids have been living with you."

Bucky sighed in relief and smiled.

"Now comes the big part. Apology and forgiveness. James day what you want to Addie," Dr. Baxter said.

Bucky turned to Addie, grabbed her hands as tears welled up in his eyes and said, "Addie, I'm so sorry for all the hurt and pain I caused you and how I destroyed us by not talking and trusting you and stepping out on you with the worst possible person. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my past so that we would work through it together instead of lashing out and making you feel like I did. I'm sorry that I didn't love or appreciate you just the way you are because I would've realized sooner all those times you wanted to just spend time with me was one of our ways to show each other love. I'm sorry that I didn't give you emotional security and intimacy so that you could give me the physical intimacy that I needed.

I'm ashamed of my behavior and all the things I said and did to you. Instead of justifying my egregious behavior, I should've humbled myself and apologized. I know that nothing will ever fix what I did to you, but know that I will be whatever it is that you want or need me to be just to have you in my life. I promise to continue to make you feel safe with me, to considerate your feelings always and that you can trust me."

"That was great James. Now it's your turn Addie," Dr. Baxter said.

"James, even though sometimes you deserved it, I'm sorry for the hurtful things I said. For not telling you about our baby and for having the abortion. I'm also sorry that I didn't trust you enough to tell you why I was so fearful of physical intimacy and sex," Addie said.

Both of them had tears running down their faces.

Bucky pulled Addie into a hug and whispered, "I'm so sorry Addie. Can you ever forgive me?"

"I forgive you James," Addie whispered.

Bucky broke in her arms.

"Can you forgive me," Addie asked softly.

"I already have," Bucky said through labored breaths.

Addie pulled away and wiped Bucky's tears. Bucky grabbed both her hands and kissed the tops of them. They both turned to face a shocked Dr. Baxter. Bucky pulled Addie closer to him and wrapped his arm around her. Addie placed her head on his shoulder as he kissed her temple.

"Well I must say, you two are definitely some of my best patients because I don't think I've ever had two sessions go as well as these two did. So I want you all to continue the homework I gave you and never week we will discuss grieving your late spouses, the kids and the blending of families because that's what you are right now. Keep up the good work and I will see you guys next week," Dr. Baxter said smiling.

They both told her goodbye as Bucky gently helped Addie up. Addie wrapped her arm around his as they walked out of the office and to his SUV.

Bucky started the vehicle after helping her in and asked, "Steak-n-Shake doll face?"

Addie moaned in happiness.

Bucky laughed then said, "I take that as a yes."

Addie giggled and Bucky smiled the biggest he had in a long time. At Steak-n-Shake, Bucky sat next to her in the booth like they did as kids. They talked, laughed, fed each other and shared two peanut butter shakes. When they went to pick up the kids from school and daycare they saw some of the crew. Nat and Steve were happy to see both Addie and Bucky happy, healthy and looking like themselves, but better.

They said to themselves that therapy was what they both needed after all. They made plans the next week to have the crew over for dinner to eat, hang and play fun adult games.