The Wrong Brother

Chapter 40 - I see crystal clear now

She's right. I know I'll have to talk to him about what happened between us, about my feeling for him, hell, about what Dylan told me, but before I even get to this conversation, I need to get over the fact that he's moving across the country and didn't tell me.

I ended up promising her again that I will talk to him, but after the third period, I don't give a shit that she made me pinky swear. There's no way in hell this conversation is happening.

I heard him talking to Mrs. Martinez about college - she was beyond happy for him - and he mentioned that some of his friends are going to Stanford as well, so it would be cool to have them with him.

So yeah, I was jealous. Images of the frat talk during dinner are back on my mind and I can't help but imagine him surrounded by girls.

By our last period, I'm angry, again. I'm gathering my stuff, ready to get the hell out of here and go home, when I hear footsteps approaching me in the empty classroom.

I look to the door to find none other than Bennett himself coming my way. I look away, not wanting to talk to him. What does he even want? Tell me that he changed his mind and is now moving to another continent?

No, he wouldn't bother telling me that.

"Why are you mad at me?" He asks instead and I sigh, before I curse under my breath. I'm tired, I'm pissed, so it's definitely not the best moment for this conversation.

"I'm always mad at you, apparently." I shove my last notebook inside my backpack. I don't bother looking up to meet his eyes.

"Well, you shouldn't be. I didn't do anything wrong." He crosses his arms over his chest.

"Really? What about going to Stanford?" I look up as I question him without even thinking.

"What does me going to Stanford have anything to do with this?" He challenges me and I feel my nostrils flare. He doesn't get it. It's so obvious that it makes me wonder how someone so perceptive can't figure it out.

"When were you going to tell me you're moving across the country?" I finally meet his eyes, but he laughs, like really laughs.

I study him as he laughs and I can tell he's angry too.

What is wrong with him?

"Are you serious? You're mad at me because I didn't tell you which college I chose?" I stay silent. It feels stupid hearing him say it out-loud. "I didn't know I had to tell you. It's not like you're my girlfriend or anything."

"You could have told me when we were talking precisely about college at rehearsal. The same day of the dinner."

''Is that what you really wanted to talk about though? Or was it something else and you changed your mind?'' I stay silent, because well, yeah, he's right. I wanted to tell him how I feel, but I chickened out the last minute. I actually opened my mouth to say it, but it didn't come out. ''That's what I thought.''

''I just thought we were... friends.''  I say the last part a bit unsure and this triggers something in him that makes him even more pissed, so I cross my arms in defense.

"I guess we stopped being friends for a while now, don't you think?"

What does he mean? That we're more than friends, or not friends at all? I want to ask, but I'm not sure I should. Suddenly, I'm thinking about the conversation we all had at the cabin when he made it look like he didn't want to go to Boston because of me.

I thought about it. What if I'm the reason he doesn't want to go to the MIT? We've been hearing our families say that we'll be friends and run into each other, so maybe he doesn't want that.