chapter 27

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wooyoung and san were back at uni, san said he'd shower and then come up. wooyoung nodded and went to the roof to wait for san.

while wooyoung was staring at the stars, san was in the shower, a mixture of water and tears on his face. he knew exactly what wooyoung wanted to talk about but he didn't want to accept it.

san wasn't sure of the reason, the text he saw was vague he didn't understand why wooyoung was agreeing to this, was everything they've been through just a facade?

he didn't know and quite frankly he doesn't think he wants to know.

san sat there in the shower as he tried to mentally prepare himself for the words wooyoung was going to say.

after a couple of minutes, san had put himself back together, as best as he could considering the situation.

he changed into some sweats and a jacket and headed upstairs

san hesitantly opened the door to the rooftop and he caught a glimpse of wooyoung...crying?

wooyoung quickly wiped the supposed tear and smiled

who knew seeing wooyoung smile could hurt san

san looked down so he doesn't end up a sobbing mess

"so... what did you wanna talk about?"

wooyoung smiled again, this one held sadness in it, he patted the spot beside him signaling san to sit down

san sat down and wooyoung looked back into the dark sky filled with stars and let out a sigh, "this was where we had our first kiss, and our first date," wooyoung said

san could feel himself coming undone. he could feel his heart aching at the way wooyoung said that. he would feel the tears welling up in his eyes. he looked back up at the sky trying to prevent the tears from flowing.

"san..." wooyoung said as he looked at san who was still staring at the stars, "san, can you please look at me?"

a tear slid down his cheek

wooyoung stared as the man he loved cried in front of him, he hated it. he hated the fact that he was putting san through this. he hated that san had to suffer cause of his past.

wooyoung was about to place his hand on san's but he didn't, he didn't want to make this harder than it already is. if he as much as touched san, he wouldn't let go.

"...sannie" wooyoung sniffled as a tear of his own slid down his cheeks

"let's... let's brea-"

"stop, please! please don't continue that sentence. please don't ask me to leave you, because i won't, wooyoung i'll never leave you, i don't care if you hate me but please," san weeped as he got up and sat back down on the ground grabbing wooyoung's hand, "please don't leave," he cried

as much as he tried his best to prepare himself for this, san knew even if he tried to prepare himself for this moment for over a year, he'd still be here. on the floor. begging wooyoung to stay.

wooyoung looked away from san as his nose turned red, "s-san you don't u-understand," wooyoung choked out, "we n-need to or else-" wooyoung stopped himself before he could continue the sentence, telling san the truth will only hurt him, god knows what she's capable of.

"wooyoung, i'm begging you, as your friend, as your boyfriend. please don't leave,"

any longer with san and wooyoung would end up caving in, he had to end things. as much as he wanted to rip out ms. han's throat right about now, the fact that she could end up having san in the hospital, god knows in what condition, hurts more than having to break up with him.

"san, stop it please, w-we aren't meant to be together! we w-will never work out! there has never been an u-us san i've been using you! what don't you understand!" wooyoung managed to let out. each word made both their hearts sting

"is it the text?"

wooyoung looked at san, he wasn't sure if san had read everything or just one part, "w-which text..."

"don't play dumb with me wooyoung, the text that asked if we had broken up or not, is there someone else?"

wooyoung didn't know how to answer, he just stared at san as tears kept running down his cheeks, eventually, he couldn't look at san any longer so he looked back up, "s-san let's break u-up..."

"wooyoung, look me in the eyes and tell me that"

wooyoung looked back at san as his hands trembled uncontrollably, "l-let's break up san,"

"for fucks sack wooyoung! why! why? tell me, please! i'll fix whatever i did just don't... don't leave me" san heartbroken eyes looked back at wooyoung

"cause... cause i hate you. i hate you san,"

those words. those three words. hurt san more than he's ever been hurt, those words rang through sans head. he felt every type of pain at once. he just lost his best friend. he just lost the love of his life

before wooyoung could take back those words he got out of sans grip and left, he ran through the hallway all the way back to his dorm room.

seonghwa was asleep when wooyoung came in so he went into the bathroom, locked it, slid against the door, and burst out crying, repetitively hitting himself and banging his head on the door

this was the worst feeling either of them has ever felt

san was still on the roof, he couldn't cry anymore. he just sat there staring at the empty spot where wooyoung was just sitting and replaying the words he told him

"we aren't meant to be together!"

"we'll never work out"

"there has never been an 'us'!"

"i'm using you!"

"i hate you"

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