Between two fires

24

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Sophie Fisher

I cried myself to sleep in my mother's arms. Charles has never really said hello to me. After we went through so much, I gave up my life in London and looked for another job in a small cafe in January. Carla and I were still on good terms, which meant that I promised her that I would take her with me to the next French Grand Prix, but that was still a long way off. It will usually be in June. Mom and Dad forgave me and I felt that it was the best. But Charles started sending messages after December. Let's say there were times when I really cried myself to tears, but sometimes I got completely upset because of them. Charles was in despair. He was still on the mend, but they said his memory had returned enough to remember me.
I, on the other hand, remembered all our good and bad moments together. I missed the boy, I missed F1 too. How incredible isn't it? George called me regularly. Almost every day. He told me where he was in the world and that I should go to Greece one day. Once I have enough money, I'll go. I still owe Norris. Quite a lot. Because of the apartment, because of the ticket, and because he behaved so normally with me for being a boy. I had a terrible Christmas. Mom and Dad didn't speak to me for a while. It's a wonder they could bear it. My eyesight was questionable for a while, but then finally mother realized that love can do anything and forgave me. In the winter, I also got involved in the overheads and we tried to somehow pull it off with leather. February. Charles still hasn't turned up. This was the first winter I spent without the boys. I hardly had friends in my life. They weren't. I would just call them co-workers at all. But they were very nice people. Mother painted the house with me, i.e. the kitchen. I helped him. Dad asked for help with the car assembly and I helped him too. I felt really good with them. March. I have been working in a small restaurant for 3 months. It was the same every day. Shells, snails, etc. Cool people who don't want to eat in Monaco and want to save a little on food. Everyone ate almost the same thing. Seafood. It was funny because I didn't really like clams and octopus either. People sometimes smiled at me, the men.
Usually older men. This was bad at the beginning because I felt that they liked my body, but then I put up with it. I needed the extra money. That was the truth. The great truth. I didn't want to be a millionaire, but that's what you need in Monaco. I just wanted to go to the race in Monaco at the end of May. For the competition. I couldn't help it. I wanted to see the love of my life once again. I wanted to see him compete. Speeding in the red car.

"Always look for car number 16"

I will never forget this day when Charles hung the pass around my neck and kissed me at the Belgian Grand Prix.

April. I was still without money, but I was able to buy my ticket. I had to go. I have to go to Monaco. I have to be there. At home, everything started to get better. Mom got a raise. Father, on the other hand, left his job, so he will definitely find another one. Luck was really on our side because both of them started doing a regular job, so at the end of April I received a small amount from them in a small envelope, but it just covered my train ticket. I was ready. I was prepared for all the worst, but for Charles to make eye contact with me again
May. Willingly and unwittingly, I counted the days. Then the 20th arrived. I took leave for these 10 days. Because it's 22. I've already left. Mom and Dad took me out to the train. I turned 20 in the meantime, so it was a bit unpleasant for me that my parents still take me here and there.....after 1 hour of travel I was there again.

I was in Monaco again.

...

I unpacked my things at the hotel and then went to an elegant little place. It was close to the track, although Monaco is based on the track, but that's okay. I had a great time here again. So I walked to the small restaurant, which was a little tucked away. I entered. Everything was beautifully lit, the brown furniture glistened in the light. I sat down at a table and the waiter came. I asked for a steak and fries on the side. I waited. There were many of them, mostly men. The waiter came with my life. It looked wonderful. I looked around and discovered someone. Andrea, Charles' trainer, was sitting at the table with a man. On closer inspection, it was Charles. I started eating my dinner a little worried. Fortunately, Charles sat with his back to me, and Andrea only saw him once in his life. Nothing to worry about. Or is it?

I asked the waiter for the bill. I wanted to pay by card...But it didn't work. The waiters started cursing in French..

- Sorry, I don't know what the problem is - I said

- I don't understand miss. - said the waiter and gave him another chance to pay. Then the already well-known boy stepped next to me and grabbed my shoulder. I was shaking.

- Count it to my account - said the Leclerc boy

- Yes, Mr. Leclerc - said the waiter, giving me a piercing look after leaving my table

- What are you doing here Sophie? - Charles looked at me curiously. He must have known what the truth was, but he asked anyway

- Thank you for paying for my meal -  I diverted the topic and quickly grabbed my bag and walked away from the table, but Charles grabbed my hand.

- Don't you want to stay?

- I do not know. Should I stay?

- Stay.

...

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