STORM--》FOUR | DIVERGENT

FIFTEEN | GRIEF

People say that there are five stages of grief.

Denial. Denial is a normal human reaction to overpowering feelings, you can't help it. You're too shocked to admit that the scene even happened, so you deny it even happened to begin with. It's a normal defense mechanism that you use to protect yourself from these feelings. It's the feeling when your heart drops to your stomach and your vision gets blurry. Too many thoughts are in your head, that you can't process, or don't want to. Usually, it consists of, "This can't be happening."

Anger. After you see that it has happened, you're angry. All of the effects of denial wash off, and you're left with a heavy layer of anger. All you can see is red, needing to deflect your anger on someone. Even if it wasn't that person's fault, you think, they were there, they could've done something to help. You may be angry with yourself even. You feel the need to blame someone for the situation. The pain and the loss take place in your head and heart, wanting to be let out. A lot of yelling occurs at this stage. Usually, it consists of, "This is your fault."

Bargaining. This begins the 'what if...' stage. You can't help but think that if you did one thing differently, everything else would be different. You think back to all of your choices, wishing you had chosen differently. The heartbreak and blaming yourself. Many times, it can give you hope, saying that there could be a way to save them, right? It gives you time to fully adjust to everything that has happened. Most tears happen, thinking about all of the things you could've done differently. You try to postpone your sadness, thinking about the things you have done together. Usually, it consists of, "What if..." And, "If only..."

Depression. This is when reality starts to settle in, all of the feelings you felt before, are starting to leave. You start to feel more numb, wanting to escape this reality. You want everything to go back to the way it was, even just ten seconds before it happened. You want to see that smile you saw right before it happened or their laugh. But you can't. They're gone and they can't come back to give you that euphoric feeling. You might feel overwhelming sadness and grief. This is when real grieving occurs, you start to mourn the loss you had. Usually, it consists of, "What's the point of living without you?" and, "I need you."

Finally, acceptance. You accept the loss that occurred. Also accepting that loss will happen over the point of life, it's inevitable. You now know that nothing can change reality, nothing can magically bring them back. Just because you accept it, doesn't mean you're now okay with it, you might suffer from PTSD. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. You emotionally might have come to terms with the loss, but mentally, you'll never get over it. Which means the guilt you had from the situation disperses. Usually, it consists of, "I will be okay after this."

Celia had never gone through these stages until she saw Stella lying beside her on the ground. "You okay?" She asked.

Stella closed her mouth, trying to hold in all of the pain. "Yeah, I'm good," she muttered.