Food For Thought.

I want to be a good mother.

I don't really know in the end, if i would become a mother but if i'm blessed with kids of my own, i want to be a good one. 

I'm realizing how much parents behavior affects their kids life and play big part in the behavior that these kids will have later in life, in their beliefs, in their choices, in their decisions, in their mistakes. And, not only later in life but during their life while they growing up, in school, in their friendships, in their relationships etc. I see how things that my parents did or didn't do played a role in my life and i meet them from time to time in my life. 

The last period, i talked a lot with others about parents hitting their children in order for them to behave the way they want them to and how good or bad that is and if it really builds their character, as some people would say or if it is causing them traumas. I remember a friend saying that thanks to his parents hitting him a lot while growing up, he learned how to behave well and i also remember us commenting on how problematic was that thing that he said and why he believes that. 

I put a lot of thought on that and i don't feel good with this. I would definitely feel bad after i would hit my child, it will hurt me twice as more than it did my child, so it wouldn't be something that i would do or would want to do, not for discipline reasons or for any reason. I can't do it and i wouldn't do it and i hope i don't get completely out of character and do it to the people that i love and care about. I'm a person that's very overprotective (yes that's a little bit bad, it can become bad) and I can't imagine doing something like that.

I used to have a friend, that's one of the reasons why I stopped talking to her, that she had a kid and I saw her watching a show on the TV and her kid wanted to go to the toilet and was asking for her help and she didn't do anything because she didn't want to miss anything from her show and her kid end up peeing the clothes that was wearing and then she hit her child as a punishment. I felt really bad about what I saw and I didn't know what I should do, how I should react and I stopped talking to her, her reaction really shocked me. From time to time, I think of this and wondering if I did well, I'm praying for the child to be well now. I'm thinking how he turned out to be.

My memory goes back to one of my schoolmates that was bullying everyone in the classroom and I remember us commenting on how cruel his father was with him and how many times he hits him during the day and that he really takes out everything that he has and it's going on with him on his child and that's why his child was the way that he was. Everything starts from home and you do many times what you learn and if you learn that everything is getting solved with violence that's what you will do.

And I return to what I said in the start, that I want to be a good mother and of course if I have a child I want to raise it well and to receive lots of love from me and if my child does something wrong to find other ways to teach them and to show what's the right thing to do and hitting them to not be an option. I want to read books, I want to ask for advice from a psychologist if I feel there is a need but I don't want to hit them. That would be my child and it would mean the world to me and I can't do something like that. I don't want to point fingers on parents and judge them on their parenting methods, I still don't have kids of my own. However, by saying all these, I want to suggest to younger people people that are planning to have a family in the future, don't just accept what the previous generations did as the right thing but work on yourselves and plan to grow and evolve and that goes too on finding new improved ways that we could use in order to raise healthy kids on all levels. That would be good for all of us, for our future. I hope you consider everything that I wrote here for our good.