Felix and Warren (boyxboy)

Twenty-four

"Except, they wouldn't be," Felix said, after some moments of silence.

Warren raised an eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I'm... I think I have a problem," Felix said.

Warren's eyes flashed with empathy.

"Talk to me," he said gently. He didn't want to push him. He had a good feeling that Felix would open up when he was ready to do so.

"I do drugs from time to time, okay maybe more than just from time to time these days, and I don't know...it helps me feel better, so I started to do them more and I don't even know why I'm telling you all of this because you could easily tell someone, and my life would be over. It already feels over most of the time these days," Felix said. His throat hurt. It felt thick with the threat of a sob.

"Let's go back inside," Warren said. "I'll get you some water."

Felix nodded.

Water wasn't going to fix everything, but perhaps it could distract him from the urge to cry.

The two boys stood up from the bench and made their way back inside and to the kitchen, where Warren poured Felix a glass of water.

He handed it to him, and Felix drank it with urgency.

"Thank you," Felix said, once he was finished with the glass.

Warren wasn't sure what he was going to do, but he knew that he wanted to remain calm for Felix. He was struggling right now, and Warren knew that if he could offer Felix some solace, then that would be a very good thing, even if he could not do much else.

"Are your parents kind?" Felix asked. He just wanted to distract himself.

"Yeah," he said.

"Would they be accepting of you know...you having a not-so-straight friend?" Felix asked.

Warren wasn't sure. He hadn't come out to his parents yet because he wasn't sure how they would take it, but he doubted they would cast him out. He was just scared.

"Yes, I think so," Warren said. "I don't think they really would care about all of that stuff." Warren was afraid to look Felix in the eyes. This was hitting too close to home and Warren couldn't even tell Felix the truth, even though he wanted to, even though he knew that he deserved the truth.

Warren wasn't sure if it was going to be okay.

Felix was glad that he no longer wanted to cry. Perhaps it was just allergies. Yeah. That would be it. He was strong.

"I was a bad son, and they wouldn't be proud of me right now but...I think I want to change," Felix said.

Warren managed to meet his gaze, now.

"Felix..." he wasn't sure what to say.

"I think I'm going to attend group therapy," Felix said. "I think that it could be good for me."

"I think it would be, too," Warren said. "Thank you for talking to me about this, Felix. I can tell it must not be easy."

"I've kept most of this stuff secret up until this point but then you- I don't know...it's different," Felix said.

Warren felt that way, too. He also felt like the biggest coward on Earth for not telling Felix the truth about his sexuality, but he tried to shake that thought away.

The idea of a world without Felix in it made him hurt, and Warren didn't want to end up driving him away.

Felix's phone rang then, and he saw that it was an incoming call from Wynn. Crap. He knew he had forgotten to do something.

"Where the hell are you?" Wynn said, as Felix answered.

"And it's good to hear from you too, Wynn," Felix said.

Warren met him with a concerned expression, but Felix shook his head in a way of telling him that it was nothing to worry about.

"I've been at home cleaning and working and everything else and you've been gone. You better be sober," she said.

"I'm sober. I'm with Warren right now. I'm sorry," Felix said. "I'll be home soon. I meant to call but...it got away from me."

Felix heard Wynn exhale with relief on the other side of the line.

"And we need to go and visit grandma soon. Don't go forgetting it," she ordered, though her voice sounded a little less stressed, now. "See you later, Felix," she said.

"See you," Felix said.

Wynn ended the call.

"Is everything alright?" Warren asked.

Felix released a breath.

"It will be," he said. His expression appeared a little calmer, now. The lines that were previously present on his forehead had faded away. "I've just...I've done things that you would hate me for."

"I know you and I don't hate you. Not in the slightest," Warren said sincerely.

"Why do you even hang out with me, Warren? You're the wealthy smart kid and look at me-"

"You're awesome," Warren interrupted. "I mean that," he continued because Felix didn't seem so sure. "You're smart. You're funny. You work so hard and you're my best friend."

"And you are mine," Felix replied. His heart was hurting. "But I don't belong here, Warren. I'm going to go home. I should get back to Wynn."

"Please don't go," Warren blurted, sooner than he could stop himself from doing so.

"I'll see you soon," Felix said quietly, before making his way towards the front door and leaving Warren's house far behind him.

He got the bus back home and immediately went to his room.

He stared at the ceiling for a few minutes and pleaded with the universe for sleep to take him.