An 18 year old signs up for military service, and gets shipped off to somewhere he's never been or heard of before. A hot canyon with a bunch of idiots inside.
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SARGE Roses are red And violets are blue.
GRIF One day we'll cruise down Blood Gulch avenue
SIMMONS It's red versus red
DONUT And blue versus blue
Cuts to helmet facing the camera while a person in background walking towards it. He places his foot on it as the camera pans up to a young man's face with his pistol aimed at the camera and his rifle resting on his shoulder while giving a smile and a wink.
MATEO RIVERA It's I against I And me against you
Rivera shoots the camera as it then begins to go over to other side of the Canyon to show:
BLUE Team
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TUCKER Violets are blue, roses are red
CHURCH Living like this we were already dead
TEX Tex goes invisible and reappears
CABOOSE Hop in my car
SHEILA It don't have any doors
The camera heads towards the opposite side once more to see
LOPEZ It's built like a cat It lands on all fours My car's like a puma It drives on all fours
It goes into cave and then shows different scenarios of teams.
Red vs Blue Season 1
Pan up from the ground and close in on three soldiers on top of a base, one clad in maroon armor, Simmons, the other in orange, Grif, and finally one clad in Red and Green, Mateo.
Simmons: Hey.
Grif: Yeah?
Simmons: You ever wonder why we're here?
Grif: It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.
All three stare at each other in silence, until Mateo decides to break it.
Mateo: Grif, what the fuck was all that about?
Simmons: ...Yeah! I meant why are we out here, in this canyon?
Grif: Oh. Uh... yeah.
Simmons: What was all that stuff about God?
Grif: Uh...hm? Nothing.
Simmons: You wanna talk about it?
Grif: No.
Simmons: You sure?
Grif: Yeah.
Mateo: Grif, as a firm believer of God, I do suggest you talk to someone on that topic if you get the chance.
Grif: I'll think about it.
Simmons: Seriously though, why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out.
Grif: Mm hmm.
Simmons: The only reason that we set up a Red Base here, is because they have a Blue Base over there. And the only reason they have a Blue Base over there, is because we have a Red Base here.
Grif: Yeah. That's because we're fighting each other.
Simmons: No, no. But I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and if they would come take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoopdee-fucking-doo.
Grif: What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief blows up the whole Covenant armada and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys.
Mateo: No shit. I signed up to fight, too. But I guess the Military had plans for me to be shipped here.
Zoom in on two soldiers watching Grif, Mateo and Simmons from atop a cliff, one wielding a sniper rifle and in cobalt armor, Church, the other standing behind him in aqua armor, Tucker.
Tucker: What're they doing?
Church slowly turns around to face Tucker, lowering his rifle.
Church:(aggravated) What?
Tucker: I said, "What are they doing now?"
Church: (frustrated) God damn, I'm getting so sick of answering that question!
Tucker:(defensively) You have the fucking rifle, I can't see shit. Don't bitch at me because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my dick.
Church: (interrupting) Okay, okay, look... they're just standing there and talking, okay? (getting angry) That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So, five minutes from now, when you ask me, "What are they doing?" my answer's gonna be, "They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there!"
Both fall silent.
Tucker: ...What're they talking about?
Church: ...You know what? I fucking hate you.
Cut back to the Red trio.
Grif: Talk about a waste of resources. I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent forms of life... you know, fight them.
Simmons: Yeah, no shit. That's why they should put us in charge.
Mateo: (sarcastic) Why the fuck should we do that? It's not like we're fighting a war against alien lifeforms right now. Oh wait... WE ARE!
On the ground a soldier in red armor, Sarge, is seen looking up at the trio
