Fits Like Ass On Bucket || Rindou x Reader

15 • doppio

You refused to talk to the brothers after Halloween. You can't explain yourself why, you just don't feel like talking knowing what happened and what they've done. Or rather what they didn't. The Haitani's are strong, you know that, they could have interfered.

It breaks your heart knowing that there's children dying and going to prison when there's so many different things they could be doing. It breaks your heart knowing that the brothers see nothing wrong with it. You refuse to cook for them, only making meals for yourself and you even go as far as sleeping on the couch, crying yourself unconscious most nights.

You know what death feels like and you don't wish that feeling upon anyone. Not even the worst kids around Tokyo. They're children and they deserve a chance to change.

Rindou has been giving you space, knowing that you're upset, but what upsets you the most right now is him ignoring you. Instead of trying to apologize for letting someone die he apparently sees nothing wrong with the recent incident. You want to tell him why you're upset but there's no way that he'll believe you when you say you've experienced death before. He hasn't believed any of your other statements of your future vision, why would he believe it now. There's no way he'd believe you when you say you've killed yourself multiple times in the future, some of which have connections to him or other gangs.

So you stay quiet.

You stay quiet even when your nightmares return and that lovely future you saw is gone. Your visions very much depend on the current situation you're in. Have a good relationship with the Haitani's ends with a good ending, where you saw yourself live last 30 for the first time with an open ending. Being on bad terms ends with you dead in a bathtub, hanging from the ceiling or jumping off a building.

You've had more suicide visions in the last couple of days than ever before. You can't even take a nap without seeing it and you can't even tell Rindou or Ran. You wake up in panic every time, holding in tears and painful sobs while gripping the blanket, covering you mouth and nose to keep any noise from escaping. It's just like back at the orphanage.

With the nightmares being intense and extremely common nowadays you barely sleep, opting to stay up at night to save yourself from the sight of blood on your hands or the feeling of being suffocated.

You no doubt believe the brothers noticed, as both of them started giving you pitiful looks while walking outside of their rooms.

But they don't know what's going on therefore there's nothing they can do. You see that they want to come up to you, but they don't know how to approach you correctly. It's sad how dependent your life is on them, on people in general. When you had nobody you died from being lonely. When you tried being self-sustaining you ended up getting killed by someone else and when you finally have good people around you they're the ones breaking you apart in the future.

• ~ ~ ~ •

You quietly put on your shoes, ready to go out alone. The days have been rough, you barely slept most nights, the Haitani's and you aren't on speaking terms and you can't stand to be around them anymore as they're one of the many causes of your death in the future. You went into your shared room with Rindou while he was in the bathroom, changing into some comfortable new clothes before heading straight for the door.

You try to be as quiet as possible while making your exit, not wanting either brother to hear you leave.

Once out and down the stars you stop and stare ahead, wondering what to do and where to go. With no plan in mind you start walking aimlessly around Roppongi and around and hour later you find yourself in Shibuya. The houses look unfamiliar and you don't recognize the streets. Geography was never your strong suite.