Read to me ~ Xingyun

41

Tw// yelling, slight violence, mention of death and murder, mention of ED

Chongyun POV:

I couldn't believe it.

I had to tell Xingqiu,

I ran back upstairs and woke him up, He sat up and wiped his eyes sleepily,

"Yun? What's wrong? Why did you wake me up?" He asked,

"The- the Balladeer! He got caught, he's been executed!"

Xingqiu seemed to wake up a bit more upon hearing the news,

"What..?" He sounded.. sad?

"He finally got caught!" I smiled,

He didn't look happy.

"What do you mean finally! Aren't you sad? Don't you have at least a little bit of sympathy for him! He was a person too!" He seemed upset... I was confused,

"No I'm not upset.. why would I be upset that your kidnapper got caught?"

"Oh come on He was hardly a kidnapper! What sort of kidnapper gives their victims back?!"

He was kind of yelling so I decided to try and calm him down instead of agitating him more,

"Look, it's early, you're probably just tired but it's not a bad thing! Don't you feel a little safer knowing he's gone?" I spoke, more softly now, lifting my hand to put on his shoulder,

He slapped it away..

What?

"No I don't feel safer! He protected me from my father, he was a nice person! And you come in here celebrating his death?!"

"I'm sorry.. what? He was not a nice person! He killed hundreds- no thousands of people! And- and he took you away from me, of course I'm happy that he isn't a threat anymore!"

"Not everything that takes me away from you is bad!"

"Yes it is! Do you have any idea how scary it is when the person you love most is taken away from you?!"

"Yes! I do! You were taken from me by my own father!"

"Then you must understand why I'm happy!"

"NO! HE DIDNT HURT ME, THATS THE DIFFERENCE, MY FATHER HURT YOU, HE HELPED ME!"

"He didn't help you! He could've just not taken you in the first place!"

"THATS NOT THE POINT!"

"Stop yelling!"

I felt myself starting to get angry, I didn't want to be angry at Xingqiu, but he was really passing me off now,

"WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO STOP YELLING?! YOURE THE ONE WHO CAME IN HERE AND STARTED CELEBRATING A GOOD MANS DEATH!"

a good man? He really thought he was good huh...?

That was it. I lost it.

"HE WASNT A GOOD MAN, NO GOOD MAN TAKES INNOCENT KIDS!"

"IM NOT A KID!"

"YES YOU ARE!"

"NO!" He yelled, sounding a little more shaky every second, I wanted to stop yelling but... everything had spiralled out of control.. I punched my fist Into the wall, causing a loud bang,

"YES, YOURE A FUCKING CHILD!" I screamed, louder then any of the other yelling I'd done, I felt my eyes fill with tears, I hated this.

"we're.. we're fucking children.." at this point my voice was shaking and my fists were clenched, then I finally looked at Xingqius face, he looked... scared...

Fuck.

I couldn't be near him.

Not now, not like this.

I tried to get up and leave but he grabbed my hand, I turned and looked at him,

"What."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xingqiu POV:

"What."

I paused, the look on his face as he said that was.. something I'd never seen before, a look of pure anger, directed at me.

I let go of his hand fearfully and he stormed off,

Why? Why was he so happy? He was just so.. so...

Who am I kidding.

He was right.

The Balladeer was a bad person.

But.. he was only bad because he had to be...

Right?

I looked over at the wall where yun had hit, surprisingly there was only a small dent,

I felt tears pricking at my eyes,

I dont think I'd ever made him that angry before...

I wanted to go and check on him but I was scared, what if he hit me? I sat there for about 10 minutes thinking about what to do and then suddenly I had a thought...

What if he is hurting himself again...

Last time he got this upset... the tree.. his hands...

Before I knew it I was up and looking around the house for him, he was nowhere to be found,

I went and searched the forest but he wasn't there either,

Then I realised, the docs,

I went to the docs and sure enough he was there... sat down, looking at the sea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chongyun POV:

I sat at the docs, lost in thought,

I had never had a proper fight with Xingqiu before... what do I do?

I needed shenhe in moments like these, even though she didn't have any relationship experience she still was pretty wise whenever I needed advice,

I just wish everything was simple again, before Xingqiu's dad messed it all up.

Shenhe always says that weird saying; "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

But in situations like this, all I can think about his how its not killing me but its slowly chipping away at my strength,

I used to be so strong, I could deal with almost anything without having an outburst, but then I started looking for spirits.. and of course that didn't work, and after that.. my whole family left... and then I started failing school.. and gave up on exorcism.. and then Xingqiu showed up, he felt like a beacon of hope, a sign that not everything goes away, a safe place that I knew would always be there when I needed him...

But then he got stolen from me... and now... I might have lost him all together...

And its all my fault.

All because I can't control my stupid emotions.

I cant control anything anymore..

Everything is just spiralling into chaos... all I need is my safeplace, the live of my life... all I need is for him to be ok... but now I'm the reason he is upset..

He was scared.

Again.

Last time he tried to stop eating after he got scared, and then everything went bad after that.. I don't want that to happen again....

I just want to go back. Back to the very start, with the library, and the bus. When we first ever met. I wish i could do all that again, meet him again, get to know him again.. fall in love again.

But I cant..

And now it might... it might be the end.

I wiped the tears out of my eyes before they could fall and took a deep breath.

I needed to fix things but.. I didn't know how.

And then suddenly, as always, I heard his voice, at the time I needed to the most.

"Yun.."