Imagination | StudxStud

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Tw: Mentions of Self Harm. Not the act.

Misery Moore

I know y'all are probably wondering how I can go to school with bruises on my face and no one calls cps? Well, Blair convinced them I do it to myself. It wasn't hard for her to do, since all she had to do was show my history in institutions.

People will believe anything horrible about a person if they think they're mentally unwell or in their words "crazy".

I remember the first time a new teacher asked about my black eye, and I told my mother. She came up to the school and made a huge scene. She screamed to the top of her lungs that I did it to myself and that I cut myself before, so what makes them think I couldn't punch myself.

I will never forget the looks on some kids faces, they looked at me like I was some monster. I never understood why because I was harming myself, not others.

Anyway, I don't self harm anymore.

Blair makes me undress and makes sure I don't. I almost died once, and I guess it scared her. Not because I was about to die, but because she would look like a horrible mother, and she cared about her reputation at her job.

Jules and her family are the only ones who know the truth. They want to help, but I can't let them. It's more complicated than it seems.

As much as I hated my mother, I so badly just wanted her to love me. I never understood why she couldn't.

Why was Jules blessed with the parents she was given, and I was given the horrible mother.

Did I not deserve love?

I wrapped my arms around my body and continued to watch the TV. Nights like this, my mind just thinks and thinks until I force myself to sleep. Then the nightmares come and it's a routine. I hate it.

I eyed Jules face as she slept. She's so beautiful. Jules was the prettiest girl I've ever seen.

I never understood why someone like Jules was best friends with someone like me. Jules was so happy and I was not. Jules was so nice, and I certainly wasn't. Jules had goals and dreams, and all I could ever dream about was not getting beat for an entire week. We were so different. She could be best friends with literally anybody else, but she chose me? It doesn't make any sense.

Jules had an amazing family, and I had a mother who never wanted me and would hit me if she heard me call her my mother. Jules had everything a teenage girl could ever want and need, and I...just had me.

I don't get sad about it anymore. That would be a waste of energy. Nothing was going to change.

A part of me was jealous of Jules, but I could never hate her or take it out on her. I wasn't angry at her. I knew life was unfair, so I was going to let it be until I die.

I looked at the time on my phone and I sat up on Jules bed, I put on my shoes. I kissed Jules forehead then stood up, I pulled my pants up then walked out of her room. I closed her door then walked downstairs. "I'm ready" I told her dad, and he nodded, getting off the coach and grabbing his keys.

I was over her house to study, and she fell asleep after a few questions, like I knew she would. It didn't stop me from finishing both of our works, though. I could be smart when I wanna.

"I know you missed yesterday's game, so I recorded it for you" her dad told me and I gave him a little smile. "Thank you, I'm sorry we couldn't watch it together" I said, and he shook his head, waving me off. "No need. You know the girls don't know, nothing about basketball, so I'm happy to rewatch with you" he told me. My heart was warm. Jules dad was the only male figure I had in my life and if I was a man I would want to be just like him.

After a few more minutes, we made it to my block, and he parked a few houses down. "Thank you" I said as I unbuckled my seat belt. "No need, and uh, I got this for you. It helps with black eyes and scars" he said, handing me two tubs of some kind of ointment. "Thank you" I mumbled and reached over the seat to give him a hug.

"You're welcome. Be careful, okay?" he rubbed my back and I nodded. I got out the car and slowly walked up to my house, all the lights were off, and my mom was home. I hide behind some bushes before I ran to the other side of my house and quickly climbed up the latter.

I laid on the floor as I tried to catch my breath.

I looked at my door as I heard footsteps coming towards my room. I quickly jumped up and laid on my bed, putting my arm over my eyes. "Misery?" I heard Blair as she opened the door "yes" I said as sat up "I made food, I put your plate in the fridge" she told me and I nodded. "Enjoy it while you can, I'm weighing and checking you tomorrow" she said, and I was about to sigh, but I stopped myself knowing she would pop me in my mouth.

"Okay" I glanced at her, she looked ready for bed. "Okay" she nodded then closed my door and I laid back down.
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Hope y'all are having the Wednesday y'all deserve, bye :)