Acquiesce

Forgive Me

Liam couldn't get the image of them kissing out of his head. He kept seeing it play over and over like a broken record that kept getting stuck. The way the windows were slightly steamed in her car put them in soft focus. They'd meant that kiss. The way they'd looked at each other and kissed one another...it wasn't lustful like the many drunken/high snog sessions he'd had up closes with birds. It was something else. It made his stomach roll queasily somehow.

He'd wanted to be mad at them, shout at them for what they'd did. They'd ruined everything. But he couldn't bring himself to. Not when he saw how happy Trix had been lately. Glowing almost and that had been because of his own fucking cunt of a brother. Even he'd looked happy in that car and he was a miserable cunt normally. He felt so conflicted. Ultimately beside all the anger he felt at the betrayal of their sneaking around he just felt sadness that Trix had felt she'd had to keep her happiness from him because she knew he'd take it badly. But how else was he supposed to take it? His own fucking brother. He felt rage boil through his blood. They'd both broken their promise to him. He wasn't trying to keep them apart for any reason other than he selfishly wanted to keep Trix as his friend. Noel would fuck this up and things would become awkward and she'd just phase Liam out of her life.

As these thoughts swirled in his head she appeared in his room holding out a pineapple cake. His favourite. She often exchanged them for forgiveness after silly  arguments they had as younger teenagers.

Liam smiled sadly.

"Looking for forgiveness?"

Trix hesitated blushing lightly.

"Do you want to come take a walk with me?"

Liam hesitated.

"Not really. Don't think I really want to listen to what you have to say."

Trix frowned at Liams cold, detached voice.

"What?"

Liam shrugged.

"I saw you two when I went to drop in r'kids birthday card. Saw you in your car kissing him."

Trix closed her eyes and swallowed thickly.

"I wanted to tell you-"

"So why didn't ya?"

Trix looked down at the ground.

"I didn't know how. I knew you'd just get mad at the both of us and what good would that do?"

Liam nodded.

"So you just shagged in secret? What silly little Liam don't know won't hurt him. Nice one."

He could see Trix was getting upset but he couldn't stop repeatedly sticking the knife in. He wasn't shouting or aggressive like he normally was when he was mad which he knew was making her more upset.

"Liam that weren't what we were doing. It just...happened. we didn't mean to do it. I've just been living with this weight on my chest cause I knew it were wrong not telling you. You're my best friend Liam."

Liam scoffed.

"Didn't mean to? Fuck off. Take responsibility at least. Yeah you are. And he's my fucking brother and I hate him. And... I can't even look at either of you right now. I don't want to. Might as well go over to his cause I don't want to see you."

Trix wiped her eyes leaving the pineapple cake on his bedside table.

"I'm sorry Liam. I really am. Can I come back and see you next weekend? And I won't see him. I mean I'm not going to see him no more. I meant what I said."