Acquiesce

Shake The Disease

The bus trundled on and Trix was eager to ask so many questions. Who knew when she'd next see Noel again. Another year? Maybe longer. But she was equally glad to just bask in his presence wordlessly. Silences were never awkward between herself and Noel she liked to be social but she didn't feel the need to fill the silences like Liam did.

"So how've you been?" She asked gently.

Noel shrugged..

"Fine. Not doing nowt."

Trix smiled sadly.

"Something will come up."

Noel smiled wryly and shook his head.

"You haven't changed. Little Miss Fix-it."

Trix felt her heart sink. He thought she was a vapid, silly, little girl. He always had.

"Well I had to be. What with you two being so cynical all the time. Its basic maths. Two negatives make a positive. And I suppose, after me mam, I felt like I had to be. I wish I could fix everything, I really do. But even I can't fix everything."

Noel glanced at her and his eyes softened. He looked slightly bashful perhaps even regretful and that wasn't an expression Noel showed to just anybody.

"Cynical? I call it realistic. Trixie I didn't mean it to make fun of you. I always admired that about you. I really did. No matter what shit went down you always just seemed to find a way out."

Trix felt herself flushing beneath his soft gaze and rarely dished out compliments. A nice word from Noel was rare. A compliment rarer and had to be earned.

"You've gone soft. That almost sounded like a compliment then. Thanks. I always thought you thought I was really naive and stupid."

Noel frowned.

"I never thought that. I was just worried for you. Dreaming in this place only leads to disappointment don't it?"

Trix gave him a small smile and shrugged. Her heart fluttered excitedly at the thought of him worrying about her. She thought back to the way his hands had felt on her skin and the genuinely concerned look in his eyes. Noel wouldn't tell anyone outright that he cared. But he showed brief glimpses of it and that meant more to her than romantic proclamations.

"But statistically some dreams need to come true. So, why not mine or yours?"

Noel gave her a smile. A real smile that made his eyes crinkle. That was her favourite.

"There you go again. I never thought you were stupid you know. Our Liam is stupid. Well...maybe you are a bit stupid for being friends with him. Mam told me you got into university. That's great. I always knew you'd do it."

Two compliments in one conversation. Was he ill?

"Yeah but not till next year. I need to pass 6th form college first. We haven't been friends, not for the past year. And Liam isn't stupid he's just insecure and that makes him lash out. You've no idea how much he looks up to you even if he'd never say."

Noel frowned and scoffed.

"A year?That cunt never looked up to me once, only himself. He don't want or need my approval."

Trix sighed.

"You'd know that if you'd been around. Where you been Noel? You couldn't see it. I did. I was there, remember? He wanted you to look at him Noel, really look at him and you never did. He so desperately wanted you to like him, he tried so hard-"

Noel turned to her fully causing their faces to come closer in a way Trix hadn't been expecting. It was overwhelmingly warm in here.

"Well where the fuck you been past year? I could ask you same thing. I looked at him. Had no fucking choice but to he was always making an arse of himself and I had to clean up all his messes. He's, he's my brother Trixie I do.... care about him you know."