God's Love💕

💜My Testimony💜

This is my testimony <3

It's a long one, you've been warned 😂 1612 words about how I found God and what He has done for me <3

When I was younger, we never really went to church. I went once with my dad's cousin and that was about it. Then, my mum started going. My brother and I loved the church we were at because we had friends there and we had fun. But this, and many other things, caused my parents to start to fight.

My mum was a Christian and my dad wasn't but still came to church every week. Then, eventually, they split up. My brother and I wanted to stay at this church but my mum wanted to move churches, so we moved.

When we moved churches, we moved to one so far away from our house and the church started an hour before our last church started. My brother and I barely knew anyone and didn't enjoy the Sunday school so we would have made it a struggle to drag us down every Sunday morning.

I think we were ok with it at the start, but after a few weeks the long car journey simply to go to church when we were passing so many churches to get there and we didn't even enjoy ourselves, to just go home... Needless to say, as got tired of it.

The waking up so much earlier wasn't a problem, my brother and I were those children that would wake up way too early, so that didn't matter for us.

After enough complaining every week, we moved churches again. We moved to a church that was in our town and we didn't even know it was there before, as it doesn't have a building. It's only in a community centre hall.

We went and absolutely loved it. The Sunday school was amazing, everyone was so so welcoming and we knew people there!

After about a year, we went on my church's summer holiday, with other people from different countries in our church family. My mum's financial situation wasn't great, but church funds payed for our trip!

At this trip, I think I became a Christian. Not sure when or how but I just realised that I believed in God. I was probably only about 11 at this time so wasn't fully a Christian just yet.

Then, I went back to school and never really did anything about my faith. I just told myself I was a Christian and that was it. I still went to church and went to youth but nothing else really changed. Then, a year or two later, Covid started.

School stopped, youth stopped and everything stopped. I started becoming a teenager and... I was not a delight. I hated everything and my friends weren't helping either. None of them were Christians, which is why I then stopped even thinking I was a Christian.

Every day I was at my mum's house, I was so so rude to her and fought over everything. Then, lockdown stopped and everything went back to semi-normal and I wasn't as rude.

My mum still had with me to get me to go to church and there were still times that I was an awful daughter, and I regret it so, so much.

We moved house, closer to our church, when covid had died down even more. Then, I went on our youth's Winter Retreat. I hadn't been on a church related holiday in years and everyone was so so nice.

The people I met there were so kind and it shocked me and my friends so much because we'd never met people who were so caring the second you see them for the first time. They had banter with us almost immediately and it was so much fun.

I kept thinking to myself "These people are so nice, if they care about others this much because of God... Then He must be real and have done something magnificent in their lives" but also "If there is a God, why is there so much pain in this world?"

For a while after Winter Retreat, I kept asking myself this question. I'd originally got the question from a book, We Were Liars, as a character had said that he'd been on a trip to India and after seeing all the poverty there, he didn't believe any God could allow that to happen. That was the one thing holding me back; the thought that people are suffering so why would an all knowing and all loving God let that happen?

After that, my youth leaders invited me and my friend (who also goes to Youth) out, but this was quite abnormal as normally it's our Small Group not just us two. They said that we'd been nominated for the under 18 youth representatives for our country. My friend had nominated herself, but I still don't know who nominated me. I said yes as I thought this could bring me closer to God and help me grow in my faith.

My friend said no as she originally thought that you wouldn't have to do anything for it; it could just be something to say "yeah I did this" when you didn't actually have to do anything for it. When she realised that the criteria for it was that you were a Christian, she said no.

I remember walking into RE in school and she sat beside me. She was telling our other friend, who didn't go to youth, that she had been given the chance to do this and when I walked in she said "And Ruby did too but the criteria is that we have to have a relationship with Christ" then, she sarcastically asked me, "Do you have that?"

I just laughed because I was nervous. My friends were very anti-Christian and I didn't want to be disliked or judged by them. I knew that I did have that and even if it wasn't a strong or big relationship with Him, I knew that it was there.

Then, three weeks after we'd come home from Winter Retreat, I was still asking myself this question of why there was so much pain in the world and I was praying that God would give me an answer. I went to youth that night and one of our Youth helpers was sharing his testimony. He took us through his story and then said, while looking right at me, "If there was nothing wrong with the world, then we would have nothing to lean on God for. I hope this helped some of you"

It did help me. It helped me a lot. I knew in that second that God had just spoken right to me and had answered my prayers.

The vote for Under 18s Representative had been given to someone else in the end, but I'd been told by so many people "You have my vote" or "You're the best candidate" and I was really hoping that I would get it. Keep in mind, this was ages ago.

Recently we had a Stay Awake with one of the other youths and one of their youth leaders told me he was annoyed. When he said this, I had no clue what he meant so I assumed it was because I had lost in the game of dodgeball we played prior to this so I told him that I was annoyed at him for almost hitting me in the face. He then said "No, no not about that. The fact that you lost the vote! I voted for you! Like, who votes for [person who won]?"

I don't think he realised how happy he made me then. I guess I'm still a bit sad and annoyed that I didn't win but I know that I didn't win because God had other, better plans for me and I can always try again next year.

I've also had some struggles at my dad's house. He isn't a Christian and his fiancée isn't either. It's not that I dislike his fiancée or her daughter but I just preferred it when it was just me, my dad and my brother and sometimes it feels as though my dad likes her daughter more than me and it's sometimes hard for me to be at their house and see them all be so close and feel like an outsider.

But the other day, I went to the beach with them. My dad and his fiancée walked up and down with our dog. My brother and dad's fiancée's daughter (sorry if this gets confusing lol) sat in the shallow part of the water.

I went way in. I was floating in the water and I felt amazing, refreshed. I absolutely loved it. I was constantly in awe of what God had done to give me that 5 minutes of pure joy. The weather was dull, the water was cold and I was alone physically but I felt God all around me. It showed me that no matter the struggles we go through, God is still there and He still cares for us. He gave me that time in the ocean alone to be with Him and I think that is so important.

My testimony hasn't finished yet, I know it hasn't so I'll update it when there is more to add. I know God will show me more in life and maybe half of this you wouldn't even count as my testimony. But personally, it's my story of how I came to God and how I stayed with Him and what He has done in my life.

Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it <3