The life of an emotionally unstable gay who's married to milk a

Soulmates. They'll Love You Forever.

The concept of soulmates had always been unfathomable to Kageyama Tobio. The idea that somewhere in the world, in a hidden corner or out on a busy street, there may be someone made for you. Looking for you, waiting for you, wanting to find you, just as you will them. When he'd hear the stories of this endless love that the red string of fate somehow provided, he'd always been in awe. How, he'd wonder, that in this vast universe, there was someone predestined for him. A perfect match that would fit as a lock would be a key or the missing pieces of the puzzle that would make him whole. He'd always found it strange, and forever would it be something he'd question.

Within the walls of the cold white closet where he'd pull his knees tight to his chest, small arms trembling from where they'd be wrapped around his legs, watching from within the walls that confined him, he'd watch as his mother would bring in countless men indiscriminately. Even as the call of sleep wrapped its arms around his shoulders gently, her sweet lull making his head drop slightly before his eyes would flutter shut briefly from the drowsiness, Tobio would, no matter how tired, promptly startle awake at the sounds that would make their way inside from the small holes of the closet door where through, light peeked in.

In his entire life, he couldn't recall a moment where he'd seen so many people, so many men, in particular, look so gleeful as they would when they filled the small room that he once called his own. A room that held a single woman.

Her.

His mother. Her deep blue eyes, resembling his own, would sparkle a pretty sapphire shade. They were, undoubtedly, a characteristic he'd picked up from her.

But despite the many men who she would constantly surround herself with, some new, some old, some a frequent face and some he'd feel unfamiliar with, never did any of the men cause any sort of mark to flourish on her skin.

Instead, she always stayed a blank canvas. Unblemished and clean. A fair white without even a stain of colour that wasn't familiar with the familiar pink marks that would adorn her body. Never anything new that would leave him wondering with childlike curiosity.

Even until the end, she never got her mark.

Maybe that was when Tobio's vision of soulmates had been tainted. The thought that somewhere in the world there was someone always left him with an urge to tear his head out. People made it seem romantic but for Tobio, he'd always found it pathetic.

Wasn't it sad that some people could spend years seeking for the one while others could find them immediately? In some ironic cases, their "perfect person" would be right in front of them and they'd never realise it until the special touch that would make fireworks come to life. Of course, the flowers of "love" would shortly blossom afterwards.

Yet, at the same time, in a deep, dark corner of his heart, a place that he more often than not would choose to ignore, Tobio would find himself longing the same way many others did. Would find himself waiting for the day his own mark would blossom to life like an unfurled flower.

But these were fleeting thoughts. Ones that he'd have on the nights where he'd be left staring outside from the window after Kazuyo would drag him inside by the collar, forcibly wrapping up his bleeding hands after hours of Tobio overworking himself until a metallic smell would fill the air.

Then, when it came for his own mark to burst to life, Tobio found that the fairy tales Miwa would read to him, and the books he'd seek out for himself seemed to leave one thing out. Rejection.

If finding your soulmate was like fireworks being lit and a flower blooming at the arrival of spring, then the rejection of a soulmate, or two, was like a volcano erupting on your skin or a rapidly spreading wildfire breaking out over every inch of oneself.

It was pain akin to torture.

Only the torture seemed to be some sort of punishment the universe would deliever when, somehow, one would let down the person that had been preset for them.

It was ironic really. A punishment for disappointing someone because they couldn't love you. Or rather, they couldn't bring themselves to accept you, let alone the mere thought of loving you.

So yes, the concept of soulmates had always been something unfathomable to Kageyama Tobio. An odd concept. One he'd forever find strange. Maybe because he would never be able to understand those who lived happily in the world of soulmates for he was someone left in the shadows. Someone to whom soulmates would forever be out of his reach.

But when it came down to it, the only regret Tobio found himself having was that when the fireworks had first burst to life and spring had finally arrived, a light quickly went out and a storm followed much sooner than one would ever expect.

The only regret he had was that he couldn't experience the feeling of the tingles that left his heart racing and made his muscles ache from trying to hide his smile for very long.

He wondered what exactly the universe got from adding an extra puzzle piece to an already finished puzzle. After all, Iwaizumi-san and Oikawa-san were a duo. They were perfect for each other. Like a lock and a key made to fit without a miss.

Soulmates. Someone who will love you forever.

They were just like the stories would say.

....

Tobio wasn't sure how he'd gotten back to his room. Wasn't sure how he'd gotten back to the apartment really. It had been blurry, as though his body wasn't his own. A static constantly filling his ears.

He didn't remember shutting the front door and making his way down the hallway. Didn't remember what Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san had tried to say after he'd given them the umbrella. Didn't remember the way they called out to him when he gave a bow and turned his back without letting them speak.

Or rather, he didn't want to remember.

His mind barely registered what had happened but somehow managed to take what he wished were just a dream.

As he let himself slide down the door, Tobio found himself wishing for the ground to swallow him whole. Maybe even decompose him in the process. The world was spinning and his head was throbbing, the static in his head getting louder. He only came to when he touched the ground, the cold wood floor sending a slight chill through his thin pyjamas.

God.. Kentarou was going to kill him.

Willing his arms to work, Tobio used what felt like the last bits of his rapidly depleting energy to force his hands to come around his legs, pulling his knees tight to his chest and letting his head rest on them. He was so tired.

With his head resting on his knees and his eyes beginning to feel heavy, black spots filling his rapidly fading vision, a thought crossed Tobio's mind.

Soulmates. They were someone who would love you forever.

So then, is that why Tobio couldn't help but fulfil his part even if he refused to bring himself to forgive them?

As his eyes fluttered shut, a wry smile made its way onto Tobio's face.

How pathetic.