Alone together [Kakashi x Reader]

Chapter 23

And in less than no time, Kakashi brought her a dish that exuded a very tantalizing smell. Such delicious was the scent of the warm food that (Y/n)'s stomach started to open. He left it in front of her, over the coffee table, and sat on the floor next to her, leaning against the couch like she was doing while the pup quickly jumped on him when it saw he was at its level.

They continued to be in a silence that was slightly awkward, something unusual for them. But after a while, (Y/n) couldn't help but finally ask what had been on her mind since she came into his apartment.

"When did you adopt a dog?" she spoke, having fallen enamored by the little being.

"I didn't adopt it," Kakashi answered, engaging in the play with the puppy who was trying to playfully bite his hand "She's a ninja hound in training. Or well, she will be" (Y/n) arched a brow.

"A ninja hound?"

"They are my summoning companions," he explained. A small smile appeared on his face when the pup finally caught his finger. Although it wasn't because of that that he smiled. He just realized this was the first time he was explaining something related to his abilities to someone. And unlike he thought he would feel, he was actually more than okay with it "Do you know Jiraiya?" he asked, turning his face to her whose eyes were already on him. She made a thinking sound.

"Isn't he one of the legendary sanins?" she asked back, she really didn't know much besides from that. Kakashi nodded, forced to turn his attention away from her.

"They call him the toad-sage because his summoning companions are toads"

"And you have ninja dogs?" (Y/n) asked to be sure, both brows arching. Kakashi nodded, this time unable to keep his gaze away from her "That's so cute!" she said, dying to see them. Kakashi's lips curved even more.

"They can be pretty annoying sometimes too," he said, deciding not to tell her about the fact that they could talk "I'll show them another day to you," he added, feeling curious about how she would react. But again, he decided it was best to center on the little fur ball. 

(Y/n) finally smiled for the first time in the day. She continued to look at the little dog and Kakashi with a smile, but it slowly started to fade away after her mind started to be clouded with thoughts. She had thought about this for a while, but after today she couldn't hold it anymore. 

"What about you?" were her only words as she finally finished the food, leaving the chopsticks in her mouth. The question took him by surprise, but he wasn't much moved by it. Perhaps the fact of seeing her eating after a day of not ingesting anything had a soothing effect on him as his body was weirdly tranquil.

"Mhm?" he simply said, leaning his head against the lower part of the couch and turning it to her while he caressed the playful pup. His eyes and tone let her know that he wasn't following her "I've already eaten" he added, thinking she was referring to the fact that he had only cooked for her. But she shook her head in denial, leaving her now empty plate over the coffee table.

"You're always spoiling me," (Y/n) said what had been on her mind after he presented her with the simple yet appetizing meal and proposed introducing his ninja hounds to her. At her words, Kakashi couldn't help but blush under his mask, looking at her with surprise "I might not be too smart, but I can tell you're always trying to give me what I never had. Like with the camera, or your friendship" she explained, now with a slight frown that had an almost imperceptible tone of worry. Kakashi's heart seemed to stop for a moment as not even he had realized he was actually unconsciously doing exactly that "But what about you, Kakashi?" she asked with pleading eyes, almost hurt when she thought of him and his life. 'Who dotes on you?' she added on her mind. Kakashi's eyes straightened and his heart sped up as the seconds passed.

"I did all that because I wanted to... just like I'm your friend because I want to" Kakashi decisively answered, ignoring her question. But (Y/n) didn't realize, right now it was her turn to be stunned by his words.

She felt so embarrassed she immediately looked down at her hands again, but he didn't take her silence as something precisely good. However, Kakashi didn't say anything, giving (Y/n) her space again while he himself mulled over things. And, in fact, he was so quick to start internally speculate on things that not even caressing the soft pup's fur was enough to soothe him or dispel his thoughts away.

While he looked at her, at how she played with her fingers, he couldn't help but think about Rin and Obito. Not because she reminded him of any of them in specific. It was actually because she made him forget about them. Whenever she was with him, at least these last memories they shared, he had not once thought about his past teammates. But when he was alone again, he remembered them again. And the guilt for not having thought about them invaded him. She made him feel worthy. Worthy of having a break, of letting go and living his life, and not the one of his dead teammates.

He started to feel this warm feeling in his chest while he looked at her. And he was so engrossed in this liberating sensation that he hadn't even paid attention to her finally looking right at his eyes too. The silence was only broken by the sound of the puppy trying to play with Kakashi's hand as it tried to playfully bite him again. 

With her knees bent up, she laid her head on her knees while continuing to look at him and the finally seemingly calm puppy. And now that he could see her face, fully, it felt as if she could help him with that never-ending pain he always felt. As if she was the answer to all his laments and torments. 

"I wish I was a dog too," (Y/n) finally broke the silence again, her (e/c) long lost between the pup's ears where Kakashi's hand was patting. 

"Why?" he asked, still kind of in trance.

"They don't worry about anything... They don't have to," she spoke with an airy tone. And it could be either because her throat was starting to close again due to her own cloudy thoughts, or because she was sleepy from such an eventful day "All they care for is to give and receive love..." she added, sounding blue while her eyes continued to be lost on the happy dog. Kakashi's caresses got sloppier, and the dog, feeling the lack of loving caresses whined a little until his hand petted between his ears again "And..." she began, but she stopped herself. 

She looked one last time at the happy dog... And at Kakashi's fingers, lovingly caressing its head. It seemed so happy with his pats... she was jealous, from its happiness and Kakashi's caresses. Her breath got even more caught up and she had to stop looking at both of them. She buried her face in her arms and knees, biting her lip while she held her breath in order not to break. But then, before she could hate herself for feeling like that seemingly all of a sudden again, a gentle weight fell on top of her head. 

She opened her eyes, and immediately, a couple of silent tears slipped. Right after, the pup jumped on her, licking her tears. And the love of the puppy, added to Kakashi's affectionate pats and rubs on the top of her head made her eyes open wide. 

"Didn't I tell you?" Kakashi's voice said lowly while his warm and bigger hand rubbed down the top of her head and hair "You can always tell me, whether it's related to your hellish sister or not"