fourteen .ೃ࿐

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My eyes were uncomfortably warm and swollen from all the tears I'd cried. My heart was beating, but was there even a point anymore? My chest was tight and my breathing was scattered, I was constantly hiccupping and sobbing. 

At first I felt that there was hope. We had a chance. This time though, it all felt like it was really falling apart.

The very minute I stepped out of our apartment and slammed the door behind me, I knew it was finished. Gina would never come back for me nor would I for her. When I looked back, she didn't even come out to see me go. Not that I wanted her to. I knew it would pain me more for her to give me another kind of false hope, where I thought that I could fix something that had been broken long before. 

It all seemed kind of humorous to me, the way that her and I were together for years but somewhere along the line, I wasn't enough for her anymore. 

What rubbed me the wrong way was the fact that she still tried to fix what had been broken, like she believed there was another chance. I wondered what I had done wrong, because it seemed like nothing I did had been enough for her. 

Taking another scoopful of the small complimentary ice cream tub I found in the fridge of the hotel room, I looked up and glanced at my surrounding through my extremely swollen eyes. 

The room was in disarray and not the fun, sexy kind that is left behind when you take part in a passionate night of erotic sex. Instead, it was in disarray like someone tried to tear the place apart. 

That someone, being me. My things were strewn across the floor, throughout the entire check-in I managed to keep my cool and hold back my tears, which was surprising. When I made it into the hotel room, however, the tears began coming down, making my head sore and my eyes puffy. 

Ice cream probably wasn't the cure, but it was delicious. And a cliché.

I hadn't even started thinking about all of the things I should be doing to help get my life back on track, like which place should I start to rent, if I would go get the rest of my things when Gina was gone. 

My obsession with checking my phone was at an all time high, yes, I was still looking to see if Clay answered me, but I knew deep down I was also searching for some sort of special apology from Gina. Not that I would accept it, anyway.

Was I a victim of cheating? Could I even say that? The last few days I'd been checking my phone so often for someone that wasn't even my girlfriend. But everything between Clay and I was platonic, right?

Except for when he called me love. Or was that still considered platonic? 

Realizing my tub of ice cream was empty, I made the executive decision to get up off my ass and do something. After rinsing my face and splashing some water on my puffy eyes, I took my room key and walked out of my hotel room in search of more snacks. 

[ ♡ ]

Days passed. 

I was still staying at the hotel, leaving solely to go to work and come back. I needed to find another place to stay and quickly. The hotel continued to drain my pockets, the amount I paid for the first night didn't seem like much, except now it's just piling up and continuously adding on to itself. 

Gina never came to see if I was at the shop. At least, not that I knew of, anyway. That showed me that she wasn't going to come back to me at all this time. I couldn't tell if this fact hurt me, or relieved me. 

Usually it was just me and my thoughts. It was quite boring and my mind is often mean to me. 

Thankfully, today, the shop was filled with people, our doors were often opening and closing, welcoming new faces. It was one of the busiest weeks of the year in our city. Once a year, for two weeks every year, the city held a market that top tier vendors attended. For most of the people in our city and surrounding cities, this was the best chance they'd been given to visit these popular vendors. 

With the shop being down the market street, it often brought more attention to the crystals and the books than there had been all year. I genuinely think that the profit most businesses make off of these two weeks are the things that keep them open and running the majority of the time. 

So, for the remainder of the day, I spent my time tidying up little messes that customers left behind and re-organizing the shelves. It was ten minutes until my shift was done, I was beyond exhausted. 

I crouched down behind the till to secure the locks on the crystal encasings and I heard the entryway bells chime, indicating a customer walked in. 

"Hey, welcome here, we're just about to close but is there anything that I--" I stopped abruptly, making eye contact with the same gorgeous, mischievously sparkling eyes I'd managed to avoid since the zoo. "Oh."

"'Oh.' Well that isn't a reassuring welcome, is it, love?" Clay smirked at me as he leaned against the entrance doorframe. 

My lips set into a grim line and I returned to what I was doing, crouching back behind the counter hoping the flush of my cheeks would fade and that Clay would leave. 

Sadly, I felt the counter as he leaned against it, peering over the side. 

"Why aren't you saying anything to me, love?" He frowned. "I thought we were friends."

I sighed, giving up as I stood back up and created a distance between us. "I also thought we were friends, until you decided to ignore my texts after the day at the zoo. Either we aren't actually, or you have a shitty perception of what friends are supposed to be."

Clay frowned. I hated how beautiful he seemed to look to me. Even with the wrinkle across his brow, his lips were perfectly pouted in a non-whining way. 

Maybe my mind was just trying to make me rebound, to forget about Gina for awhile. Or I just needed to masturbate. Yeah, masturbating was a seemingly good idea. 

"Love, I got a new number shortly after that day." He said finally, looking at me expectantly. "You haven't been working since then. Not the times I have packages, anyway." 

He wasn't wrong. The first few days of Gina and I's break up, I didn't come in for two of my shifts. My coworkers were pretty mad at me, but I wanted to make sure Gina didn't try and come in to talk to me. I needed to heal...I still do, but now I'm sort of broke. 

"Well, life kind of got in the way." 

Clay frowned at that, his face once again remaining beautiful as his brows wrinkled. Then, his face smoothed and he gave me a small, hopeful smile. "Let's go for a coffee and a chat? It's on me."

Naturally, I couldn't turn him down. 

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